you re so old jokes one liners

Alexis Jenn Buenavista is a 24 year-old spoiled bratenilla girl from a rich, powerful,and famous family in the country. Partying all nights and drinking with her friends as if there's no tomorrow is her expertise. Working is not in her vocabulary. That's how she is... Until one day, her parents told her to marry the 38-year old, famous billionaire, Zac Rogen Walker. As a spoiled stubborn brat girl, ay lumayas siya sa kanila. But unfortunately, she was caught by Zac's bodyguard. She can't accept an old husband! Zac needs an heir for their company. His parents urged him to marry as he is not getting any younger. He chose Alexis because she is young and active which surely gives him an heir. The two signed a contract that gave Alexis the freedom to do anything she wanted but she cannot have sex with her boyfriend or any other man except with Zac. And their awkward married life has begun... Who will give in first to temptation? Who will give up? And who will fall in love?

Marlon (37) Pria dewasa yang seharusnya sudah menikah, mempunyai istri, dan anak. Bukan malah mengejar gadis kecil, berhasrat ingin menikahinya dengan alasan sudah siap berbagi ranjang. Belle (17) Gadis pemalu yang belum pernah berpacaran, bukan karena tidak cantik, hanya saja dia terlalu takut berdekatan dengan lawan jenis. Apa yang akan Belle lakukan? Ketika ada lelaki tua berjenggot yang berselisih 20 tahun dengan usianya, datang menghadap kedua orang tuanya dan melamar Belle.

Don’t trust anyone, not even yourself….You think you know someone pretty well, until you’re awoken in the middle of the night to the sound of unfamiliar voices and realize your sister’s being swept away by some supernatural creatures who climb in and out of windows and leap from two-story houses like it’s nothing.My parents tried to tell me everything was fine, but when Cadence finally did come back from wherever they’d taken her, I knew there was something unusual about my older sister.Now, her best friend is dead.Her ex-boyfriend is acting bizarre.And I’m afraid I might be next.My name is Cassidy Findley, and I’m pretty sure my sister is a vampire, despite her “co-worker” making every effort to brainwash me into believing otherwise. With the help of my two best friends, we vow to get to the bottom of this before it’s too late, and my sister starts to claim other victims. I love her, but I won’t be turned, nor will I just sit by without doing everything I can to stop her. I can only hope that I’m not too late and that I can trust my own memories.Because I’m pretty sure my sister’s friends are coming for me next.The Chronicles of Cassidy is a retelling of The Clandestine Saga specifically for young adult/teen readers told from the perspective of high schooler Cassidy Findley.

Book one of the zodia series introduces Lilliana Pendragon and Drake Thorn, two best friends who have deep unrealized feelings for each other. And Lance Stallion, a man who is betrothed to Lilliana and has a nasty temper when things do not go his way.Who will Lilliana find herself with in the end and can she unlock the secret of her family within herself to be able to find true happiness, before it is too late?'latin - 'Quamdiu tales esse potes. Cum autem terminos tuos sentio agi. Quum senseris tibi evigilare faciatis intra rem, et tamen non audiam. Princeps autem Draco excitavit!’

Jewel Anderson is secretly in love with her best friend boyfriend. She endured the pain and dismay in her heart knowing how much Cherrie Miller; her best friend loves the man. On the night of their graduation Ball she discovered that Cherrie is cheating. She saw her kissing Frank Mason in his car, dumbfounded she watches as the car speed away from the school ground. She looked everywhere for Larry Williams, She thought in her heart that she might have a chance. Luckily after finding him, one of their common friends invited her to tag along for the after party, Larry's face is sullen, he’s so quiet and as cold as ice. In the bar she seat next to him and when their eyes met she give him a nod and smile sweetly. Although his Cherrie's boyfriend they are not really close. He seems to recognize her, they chatted and share a toast. Both of them get wasted, decided to leave the bar together and shared the long cold night. In the morning Cherrie showed up in Larry's condo, seeing both of them under the quilt. They were caught. Her best friend cried, looking at her with disgust and anger, accusing her of betrayal. She left after ending her relationship with Larry. Deep inside she knows, Cherrie betrayed the man first but she could not say it and as her best friend does she really need to humiliate her like that. Even the man she love who initiated the did, blame her for everything.

Bedtime stories, fantasy, fiction, romance, action, urban,mystery, thriller and anything more you can think ... Just a warning ... none of them are normal.

After a brutal, heart wrenching family split, Tiana Williams began to unveil life as parent's divorce pushed her into the limelight in a school where she was socially inexistent. Nothing is warmer than the bad boy with a sweet heart caring for the quite nerd. Her new phase of life cracks a wall for Blake Anthony to creep in. She felt getting high over everything as she thought she lost it all, not knowing she just started. A young teenager with low knowledge of life starts analysing and making life decisions recklessly. It didn't go well, it wasn't so nice, it was more than a disaster. Little did she know that she had many things left from her first loss. So Nice#ProjectNigeria

This book unapologetically contains very dark, raw, and mature contents. It's not advisable for underage. And if you are not into reading erotica, do not open this book, or else you'd be stuck into this new captivating world. Do you yearn for steamy forbidden love stories? Do you crave rough, dominating, and submissive romances? Are you drawn to sizzling slow-burn werewolf erotica? Does the idea of spicy billionaire romance pique your interest? Do you long for tantalizing taboo stories? If so, then RED HOT tales of passion is the perfect companion for you. This compilation contains a plethora of sizzling erotic romance stories that will keep you on the edge of your seat.

“I need to teach you a lesson for defying me,” Beau says, and in an instant, my leg drops down. He puts his other hand on my waist and lifts me off my chair. Landing perfectly on him, my eyes widen once I feel him against me. “Yes, darlin’, you are the reason for it. And tonight, you are going to satisfy it.” He holds me down, hunger in his eyes. “I’ll do no such thing,” I say, resisting the urge to grind my hips against him. My already is pressed against his hard length, and I find myself wanting to pull it out so he can fill me up to the hilt and make all my dreams a reality. “Oh, you will, and you are going to enjoy it.” **** Delilah Stephen is a young architect trying to make a name for herself without Daddy’s help. She is so close to achieving her goal when something unexpected happens. The investor meant to make her dreams a reality turns out to be someone Delilah wishes never to see again, Beau Williams. He is a handsome billionaire with a dangerous family. He broke Delilah’s heart seven years ago and is now back to win her. Delilah passionately hates Beau, so he has his work cut out for him. She refuses to forget the past, but Beau doesn’t give up. He will stop at nothing to make Delilah feel something for him after so many years. But for how long can he keep trying, and will he ever succeed?

A ruthless man, an unyielding soul, and a wrongful entanglement… Four years ago, she had sent him to prison. It was only after he was executed that a look of obvious relief spread across her face. Four years later, he pulled her into hell. She was humiliated before his eyes, yet his hatred still burned high. As part of his cunningly-devised retribution, he was going to overwhelm her bit by bit, prudently and slowly luring her into his web of vengeance. To Edward Levin, Vivian Carraway would always be his possession, but it seemed like things would not go as he wished...