Chapter 7: A fear to be Rejected again

Our arrangement was an open book in the pack. Even if Diesel hasn't marked me yet, everyone knows he will be soon, and they expect an heir from us. We've been together for years, and I was his chosen mate, and he was to me. 

But why now? Why was he cheating on me? 

Unless…

Sweat started to form on my forehead. 

Oh no, I don't want to think about it. 

I'm too dependent on Diesel, and he's someone I would never let go. He was the one who helped me get through my first rejection, and I had already promised myself that if I ever picked someone as my second chance mate, it'd be him.  

But I knew that arrangement wasn't entirely sure, knowing Diesel had yet to find his mate, even if he had already passed the age of finding one. 

"Babe, are you okay now?" Diesel asked.

"Better, I guess."

I realized he was already back. I watched him as he opened the bottle of wine. Then, I focused on the cell phone he had placed on the bedside table. Even without me going near it, I could tell it was in silent mode, judging by how many times the screen lit up. 

Diesel poured me wine in a glass and gave it to me. 

"I got this from one of my business trips. I thought you would like it since it tasted so good," Diesel said, chuckling. "Here, have a taste."

"Thanks," I replied and took the glass from his hand. 

I gulped the wine without taking her sight off Diesel. He was right, the wine tasted so good, and I knew it was probably damn expensive. I would have praised the wine if only my mind hadn't been focused on him, who was grinning as he grabbed his cell phone from the side table. 

I watched him sit on the bed and get engrossed in what he was reading. He didn't notice that my eyes were glued to him. 

A lump formed in my stomach due to the pressure of anxiety. Diesel had the same excitement and the sweetest smile he had the morning he asked me to be his mate. Except for this time, I was sure it wasn't for me. 

My body started trembling again as my wolf kept on whining. She, too, knew something was off about our mate. I placed her hand over her chest. The anxiety and the thought of Diesel cheating on me made it hard to breathe. I swallowed hard. This can't be. 

Maybe I'm too paranoid thinking Diesel was cheating on me. What if he was not? What if I was wrong? No. I read the message clearly, which was not what his business partners would send him. He's cheating on me!

My hands started to tremble, making the wine glass slip from my hands, shattering on the tiled floor. I looked at the shattered pieces of glass and imagined my heart was on the floor.

"Carrie!" Diesel yelled. He must have been startled when he heard the glass shattering and jumped from the side of the bed. 

Diesel automatically cupped my face and looked at me. Worry plastered in his eyes.

He guided me to the nearest sofa in our room, and Diesel called an omega to clean it.

"What's wrong, Babe? Are you still feeling unwell?" 

I looked at him. I wanted to scream in his face that I knew he was cheating, but I did the opposite.

"No. I was just too tired. The pack is growing, so I had to manage everything," I said, assuring Diesel that I was actually fine even though I wasn't.  

"Do you want some water?" 

"Yes, please," I replied. 

"I'll get you water. Stay in bed for now," Diesel told me and left.

I stood up and shuffled to the bed. I saw Diesel's cell phone on top of his pillow. Silent phone notifications lit up his phone screen, making my heart beat so fast. My instinct has pushed me to check who it was, even though it'll hurt me. 

I grabbed the phone. The contact calling was the same person who'd sent him the message. Fifteen missed calls, all from the same caller. I heard footsteps coming near the bedroom door, but there wasn't time to put the phone back. 

Our eyes locked, and then Diesel focused on the phone in my hand.

"Your phone." I reached out the phone to him. "Someone has been calling you fifteen times now."

My eyes never left him, but Diesel's eyes looked away. He snatched the phone from her hand. His eyes flickered as his hands started wiping the sweat from his forehead. But he still didn't look at me.

"It's Jensen. He's been calling me regarding our recent business deal," he said before handing me the glass of water. "So take a rest for now, Babe. I'll call Jonathan. Stay here. I'll be back."

I just nodded and watched him as he rushed out of our room. The adrenalin and jealousy gave my body the strength to move and run for the door. Quietly, I watched him from the small opening.

His gestures were familiar. Bright smile. Sparkling eyes.

But I knew one thing for sure. Those were not for me this time. Diesel spoke in a hushed voice, which was impossible for me to hear even if I was a werewolf. He was trying to be cautious. 

Once upon a time, there was a broken princess; a prince came and promised her the moon. The princess accepted the prince, became the happiest princess, and dreamt of a happy ending. But now, the happy ending was hanging by a thread. One mistake, and it'll take everything away from the princess. 

But at that exact moment, I felt like nothing, not the princess anymore.

Worthless.

Hopeless.

Dumb. 

Numb.

My mind was overflowing with silent questions.

Will I be dumped again? 

Oh please, no, one more rejection and I'm sure I'll never survive again. 

What did I do wrong?

What did I need to do?

Am I still lacking? 

Am I not good enough?

All the whats and whys, my thoughts made me doubt myself and question my worth.

The sound of approaching footsteps awakened me from my thoughts. I immediately went to bed and rested against the headboard.

Diesel paced at the end of our bed. He tousled his hair and took a deep breath. 

"Sweety, I have to go to Romania now. Jensen has been bugging me about our deal." He bit his lower lip. "We badly need to discuss this, or dollars will be flushed away in a toilet."

I looked at him and balled my left hand into a fist. My wolf was screaming at him, accusing him of being a cheater, and I was thankful for the opportunity that he hadn't marked me yet; otherwise, his wolf would have heard it all. 

We wanted to know why he had to lie. "Do you have to go at this hour? You only got home for a few hours. The pack needed a word from their Alpha, too." 

"Babe, I know you can do this for me, right? I trusted you with everything while I made money," Diesel said and kissed me quickly. 

I cleared her throat. Where are you going? It was the question I wanted to ask him. 

"Can't you just go early tomorrow instead?"

Diesel stretched his neck, avoiding my gaze. 

"No, that can't be done, Babe! We're talking about a billion-dollar deal here, so it's now or never."

I don't know who this Jensen from Romania was, but all I could say was, "Okay."

I helped him pack some clothes, and when he was ready, he gave me another quick kiss and bid me goodbye. 

"I have to go, Babe! I hope everything will be settled soon so I can go home immediately."

Liar! 

I wanted to scream this at him, but I smiled at him instead. 

"Just go back when your business is done," I replied. 

As soon as Diesel closed the door, tears fell from my eyes because I couldn't believe what I discovered just for three damn hours! I trusted this Alpha with all my heart. I gave him everything and helped him run this damn pack but why? Why does he have to do this? Who was she?!