The next five months see us settle into a strange, comfortable routine. After only a night under their roof, I immediately commandeered Finn’s barn conversion for us. Much as I adore my parents, I don’t want to be in the same house as them. That is not entirely due to my mate bond either. They still have an ever-burning adoration of each other that I can only hope Briss and I match in decades' time. I just don't need to hear it. Ever.It appears Finn isn’t coming home anytime soon. He’s embedded into Shadowlands, no doubt a future legend in the making. So now Briss and I sleep in the huge double bed with its skylight to the stars. When Briss isn’t building boats, we take out my father’s smaller one. Refreshing my memory on the rigging, sails, and navigation. On a night, we look at the maps together, sprawled out along the table in the downstairs half of the barn. Where the sea reaches the edges of the paper with no known landfall, I know those areas interest Briss the most. The boat
The past few months have been insane. I had naively considered Phillipe’s dead body being slung out of the castle like trash as the end of the matter. Live happily ever after, job done. Sadly, just shouting the war is over isn’t the end of the battle for an Alpha and Luna. Not that the title sits well with me. I doubt it ever will. But it annoys Freya for me to protest too strongly about my title. Plus, I have learned an awful lot about the hormonal fun and games one can encounter with the heavily pregnant. To say she kept me on my toes over winter is an understatement. I fucking loved every second of it. She pushes, I pull her back in. Either way she ends up in my arms, talking a million miles a minute about all the ideas she has working away in her mind. I got to be there for all her quiet little whispered fears too. If the pack likes her, being a mother. Next to roaring fires eating the same rations as everyone else, we lived a fairly quiet existence. Baby names drove her mad. F
That mysterious mate of mine. Slinking around like a fox, those dark eyes always threaten something fun or interesting. The love he has for Aisling almost sets me off crying every time. I can’t deny I have been a rollercoaster for the past few months. Or a complete fucking nightmare. Maybe a bit of both. Taking tea with Doctor Thatcher the day before our journey to White Forest he confirmed I have physically recovered from childbirth. Aisling is flourishing. I have nothing to worry about. “Then why am I so worried? Why is my head filled with constant doubt about everything going wrong?” He sipped his tea thoughtfully, before placing the cup down and steepling his hands. In a steady, doctor-mode voice, he replied, “because you have been through an awful lot Luna. Phillipe made you question your worth. Years believing you weren’t quite good enough, that you always had to try harder. Now?” “Now…I know Zeke loves me exactly as I am. I know he doesn’t want me to change.” “Well as lov
It can’t be the packhouse that created this change in her. From the second I walked into her room, filthy from the day's labour, she sized me up like prey and left me practically drooling. She knows exactly what that midnight blue gown does to her figure. A thigh-high split, too? Cruelty in spades. I was more than willing to give her space. I can cuddle, be affectionate, and listen until the end of time. I’ve massaged more oil into her delicate soft skin and bump than I would have thought possible. Sometimes, such rubdowns ended in tears as memories overwhelmed her. Other times, I was able to send her up to heaven in a state of bliss. It’s been a rollercoaster. I’ve dug my way out of my own pit of grief, Freya had been living on hold for so long. She’d been on the run, trapped back at White Forest, held at Rising Star against her will. Shitbag Phillipe had dared to put his hands on her and thankfully paid the fucking price. I regret never getting to land a blow on him myself. But it
My mud-drenched cloak dragged down my shoulders. Catching on branches and weighing a ton, I stumble forward in the dark.“Come on!” hissed my guide. “Get moving before you get me killed ”“I'm trying! I wasn't followed you know!” "I couldn't give a shit what you think."My shorter height prevents me clearing the mud and branches as easily as the miserable brute in front. Struggling for footing in the dark forest, rain pours down unchecked, his face set like granite. Alpha Cillian had commanded him to take me away from here. This mission is not his choice.“Why the hell are you even doing this anyway?” His voice is a miserable grumble as he lifts a low, heavy branch for me to pass under. “It’s none of your fucking business,” I snapped back, fully aware I had signed my own death sentence tonight."You're damn right it's not, but here I am. Babysitting.""I'm sorry, have I not just risked everything to bring you the biggest weapon in this fight?"Thirty minutes of hostile silence follo
Over the past few weeks I’ve learned an awful lot. None of it good. My mind continues to whirl with a sickening combination of regret mixed with bitterness. Beta Zeka is still tearing through the countryside whilst I cling onto the back trying to remember the last time I ate a meal.My back-from-the-dead brother Nikolai and Alpha Cillian have combined forces to attack Phillipe and Ruth. The only blessing has been that she is trapped in the north. Who knows what Phillipe has been up to every time he left me to go visit her there. Since I came home with his one-eyed henchman Beta Patrick with the declaration of war ringing loud he has been stuck at the Rising Star castle with me. Forced to be with the mate he doesn’t want.“Why won’t you just reject me?” I screamed at him one evening. The ridiculousness of sitting across a dining table with my so-called mate burned me. Knowing war was ongoing left me bubbling with resentment and unable to hold back my tongue.“Because I can provide for
I cannot believe Cillian took me out of the Battalion for this. Pointless days on the road with this spoiled little princess and I’m still confused. It burns to know my Alpha thinks I’m fucked up.But then, who wouldn’t be? It’s made me a better, sharper fighter. Nobody was complaining while I was ripping out throats and ending skirmishes. Nobody has killed more of Phillipe’s men than me. Now I’m sitting around babysitting someone who could be his damn spy. Just because she has those large, wide eyes, it doesn’t mean she is trustworthy. This whole time I thought Cill had my back. My Alpha, my kin. He took the pack to the brink of collapse whilst trying to get his wolf back and I supported him all the way. Even after Franz. /No. Something else. Quick./ Rush hissed as my fists clench, itching for something to hit. Anything to replace the sickening lurch in my guts.We don’t think about Franz that way. Not in the dark when my vision can distort so easily. Glossy puddles quickly becom
Two days of living in a barn. It might be a much nicer barn than most but this is ridiculous. Bella fetches me the most delicious home-cooked meals but keeps a shy distance. Lucien says absolutely nothing to me. It is like being guarded by a grizzly bear.Beta Zeke remains, doing his best to annoy me. He is always nagging at Finn to put more effort into guarding me, which then leads to him being a pissed-off grump. Not that I want to talk to him either. I don’t do anything. I just lie on the bed and regret every decision that lead me here.Finn busies himself with wood carving, reading, whatever on the floor below. I look up through the skylight and remember the life I’ve abandoned. I can see the sunset just colouring the sky, the most spectacular burning orange as I lie back in the huge pillows.Goddess the huge glamorous dances my family used to hold. I look down at my nails, all scrubbed, short and plain and remember the jewels and bracelets I used to wear. I would be covered in t