The cold touch of something stroking my bare arm rose a trail of goosebumps in its wake and left me shivering. It was a moment of oblivion, a welcome one since I didn't know where I was, who I was with. At that moment the man with the green eyes didn't exist and neither did his unthinkable and unpredictable plans saved for me. This stage in between consciousness and unconscious was the most relief I could possibly have and live in and although it lasted for a few seconds, I was left with the yearning for more before I opened my eyes and faced the inevitable reality of being caged in the arms of my captor.
The warmth of his breath fanned my bare neck, shuddering the wisps of my unkempt hair back and forth. I dared not to breathe at all and clenched my eyes shut in the hopes of falling into the darkness of sleep again, but it was all in vain. I heard him smirk behind me as his ice-cold fingers kept trailing and drawing figures on my arm which I couldn't quite understand.
"Awake at last." The cold tip of his nose touched my arm, and before I could understand what his intentions were, I felt the sharp bite of his teeth at the back of my arm and the searing pain that followed after.
I refused to give in and give him the reaction he wanted and laid there still unable to stop the tears before they rolled down my cheeks. It was painful, and I was hurting in a way I always have. A companion that never wanted to leave, determined to come back, again and again, no matter how much I tried to pull myself out of the dark sludge that held onto me so dearly.
The bed dipped as he moved and got up. What I didn't expect was his arms sliding under me as he picked me up a little too gently to my huge astonishment and carried me somewhere I couldn't see with my eyes closed as I freaked out quietly. Every inch of my body was screaming and on high alert, and yet I could do nothing.
Funny, I thought to myself. I am supposed to scream, to push or even express my dissent to whatever he was about to do and yet here I was doing nothing. Absolutely frozen and scared to my very bone. I could easily open my eyes and see where he was taking me and what he was about to do, but I just couldn't. As if he had a strange sort of control over my mind, or maybe it was just me being submissive without even realizing it.
The squeak of the wooden stairs was the only hint I could gather without any idea on whether I was taken upstairs or downstairs. It felt strange to not know where the stairs led and weird because our mind never thinks about these things. You just know where you are going and the journey in between is almost always a blur.
A huge gust of wind pushed against me as another screech of a metal door painfully brushing against the metal hinges opened slowly. The freezing breath clenching my skin as the warmth I had felt inside the house dissipated unwelcomingly. After being locked inside for so long I almost forgot that it was winter outside with snow falling down the sky at every chance it could get.
"Open your eyes." His whisper cut through the wind and reached me clear and sound even through the chaos that raged outside. And I followed the command without any dissent and saw something which I didn't expect at all.
The dusk clouded by the cold draft left a brutal shadow behind as the pointed tips of the pine trees swayed with the harrowing storm as it controlled and manipulated nature to its will. But that was not the surprise. The arrangement of a table for two with a fireplace on the terrace was. The red velvet on the rectangular dinner table with two cloches at the opposite ends sat in the dark with an unlit candelabra in the middle.
He must be out of his mind because eating outside in this weather was absolutely ridiculous, and yet he didn't seem the littlest bit fazed by it as he put me down and placed his hand at the small of my back, guiding me towards one of the tufted red chairs that matched the table.
"Dresses suit you." A man of few words who left me baffled every time he said anything. I had no recollection of changing clothes or wearing any for the matter but as I looked at myself I realized that as always he was right. A simple black smooth silk dress with a v neck and no sleeves, plunging into my chest not desperately but enough to make me uncomfortable. Any dress was sure to make me feel uncomfortable.
He walked towards his seat and sat down nonchalantly, completely ignorant of the howling wind that thrashed against us. His lips moved, and I thought he said something but unable to understand what exactly it was, all I could do was sit still and gape until a tall slender man walked out from the shadows and made me almost jump out of my seat.
To my utmost horror, I realized that he was standing in the corner all along with a certain effortless camouflage which was hard to replicate. With his pale ghastly skin and neat black uniform of sorts, he gave the perfect image of a butler with white gloves on as he towered behind him while he was occupied with carefully placing a napkin on his lap.
I couldn't decide if I should be happy or if I was happy as I sat there completely blown out of my mind with the sudden twist and turn in the events.
Although was it welcome?
Liza. A shiver ran down my spine as I realized how much I miss her. The shine in her eyes every time she made her favourite chocolate filled cookies and then ate almost all of them because she loved them so much. How she always talked about doing crazy things to her hair but settled for the least ridiculous option. The way she knew her way around everything and never really failed. Oblivious of the charm she had and the light she spread. The first person who stepped into my life and made me realize that all people are not the same. That there is more to the world outside my cage. The first person for whom I almost opened the door. A girl who didn't care about why I was silent. She respected my privacy and understood boundaries better than anyone. She never pushed too hard neither did she let me get through things myself. She just always knew what to do in situations where nothing could be done. Unlike me. I wish I could say that it w
I was not in control. From the moment I met him, I never was. He had this twisted charm that made everything work in his favour always, or maybe he was so stubborn that everything just curled under his unrelenting clench. A man so intransigent, lost to the reasoning of right and wrong, and in control. The numbness was all that I could feel and welcome as I let myself drift into the unknown harmony that controlled me; that I have never heard before yet played so smoothly like it was a part of me. A version of me I knew better than anyone. A version of me that nobody knew. It's funny how time can exist, freeze, move forward, backward, and then forward again. Suddenly it doesn't exist at all. What's left is an irreplaceable shadow that doesn't reoccur ever again. It's always the first and the last, yet we like to pretend that it's the same the next time even though it will never be the same. The exact same shadow that once was created is
I was not quite awake when tears started streaming down my cheeks, making me wince at the harsh reality of what's happening. I didn't want this, I don't want this. I just want this to be over with. The urge to even breathe had left my body as I cried uncontrollably and hugged a pillow closer to my chest to shut the bleeding hole in my chest. It was empty, and I wanted everything to just end right then and there. So much pain, it was unbearable. You have to stay strong. As much as I wanted to stop crying, I couldn't. It didn't make me feel weak but instead, I felt free of the bonds that held everything together for so long. I wanted Liza by my side no matter what and I wanted her safe. Whatever has been happening has gone for too long, and I was over it. The sudden surge of pulsating adrenaline made me sit up as my eyes sprang open, and my hands rubbed my tears away. I was done. Heaving deeply, I tried to muster up all my strength and got out of bed to the bat
I hated the way his lips slyly twisted into a smirk. Hands in his pockets and form leaning against the door frame of the room he came out of while his eyes shining like the scales of a snake stared at me intensely, enjoying the situation that has come forward as a perfect opportunity to toy with me. It's funny how delusional I was to consider him a friend and let him stay over the night, meet Liza, and wreck my life from the shadows. Ivan turned out to be one of the biggest regrets of my life. "Is our poor little Rosie lost in this huge mansion? This place is marvellous isn't it?" He pushed himself off the door frame and started walking deeper into the house. A sigh of relief was just about to leave my lips when he stopped midway and turned his head to the side slightly dropping enough hints that it was far from over. I followed his footsteps as he walked in front of me slowly, taking his sweet time to enjoy the uncomfortable heavine
I felt suffocated. Bound inside this body, I felt nothing but a stranger as I struggled to sustain my sanity. The pounding ache in my head didn't help either as I blinked slowly, trying to understand and comprehend the words that Ivan just said. What did he say again? I heard something, I saw his lips move, but the piercing static in my ears didn't let those words swim through. Everything was wrong. Everything was so wrong, and I wanted nothing more than this to end. I wanted this to be over with yet no matter how much I clawed from the inside of this body, this reality, I couldn't. Suppressing the urge to puke my guts out, I gulped deeply. His eyes noticing my every move not bothering me at all as it would have. "What did you say?" Tricked by my spiralling head, I could hardly catch what he said. A poor attempt from my brain, trying to hide the truth, protecting me from what really is by distorting and distracting the present.
He seemed unaffected. Until he broke out into the most ridiculously hysterical laughter I had ever heard. The humour in my answer was lost to me even though I knew the reason why it shouldn't have been my answer at all. "Boy, you truly should be a part of our family. You aren't even half sane as I thought you would be! My brother sure does have a great taste." With a grin still lingering on his face, he got up from the seat and walked towards one of the locked cupboards in the room and tried to jiggle the handles only to come up with nothing but disappointment. "How many years are you-" I didn't need to finish the question as he cut me off and replied without any delay. "Thirty minutes." Confusion clouded my mind as I frowned at the answer I received. Maybe he didn't get my answer after all and thought I was asking something else until it dawned on me. They were non-identical twins. Things made a lot of sense now and more believabl
Things were eerily quiet. The record playingP. Tchaikovsky's Waltz of the Flowers did nothing to calm my nerves as I was made to sit in the same office for the second time that day after dinner. It wasn't Ivan this time but the devil himself who had his eyes closed and back rested on the majestic chair on the other side of the desk. His fingertips on both hands touching each other in a poise of calibrate relaxation. I watched on edge as his chest barely rose up and down, making the slightest movement, assuring me that he wasn't a statue nor a figment of my imagination. He was very much here, in this room, with no one but me. I have never been able to understand his actions before or predict them successfully but this time I didn't need much to assess why this present situation has come by. From the moment he found me with Ivan in this room with the closed door, he hasn't said much except for the general direction of how things should happen wh
Glass shattered. Once. Twice, Thrice. Again and again. Until there was only wood. Broken and stabbing with its little splinters digging in my back. Darkness clouded my peripheral vision and blurred my focus as I struggled to keep my eyes open. Drifting in and out of consciousness, the only thing I saw was his face. Not contorted, not twisted with anger. Still like the icy glaciers, quiet and deceiving. Hiding the deathly turmoil that laid under. His eyes a pool into his soul showcased the fire that burned underneath the cold. I dearly waited to be lost in the dark abyss of uncontrolled and involuntary sleep that would make this moment just not exist for me. Absolute blackness of nothing would be better than what I have right now. Anything to make all of this insubstantial. Only if things ever were meant to be in my favour. My upper eyelids barely touched the lower ones when he grabbed my neck and hauled me to what I can only imagine was the