Glass shattered. Once. Twice, Thrice. Again and again. Until there was only wood. Broken and stabbing with its little splinters digging in my back. Darkness clouded my peripheral vision and blurred my focus as I struggled to keep my eyes open. Drifting in and out of consciousness, the only thing I saw was his face. Not contorted, not twisted with anger. Still like the icy glaciers, quiet and deceiving. Hiding the deathly turmoil that laid under.
His eyes a pool into his soul showcased the fire that burned underneath the cold.
I dearly waited to be lost in the dark abyss of uncontrolled and involuntary sleep that would make this moment just not exist for me. Absolute blackness of nothing would be better than what I have right now. Anything to make all of this insubstantial. Only if things ever were meant to be in my favour.
My upper eyelids barely touched the lower ones when he grabbed my neck and hauled me to what I can only imagine was the
I have always wondered if it's better to be sad for a reason or to be sad without any reason. When I lived with Liza, I was happy. Peaceful. Content. She made me feel normal and laugh at things which were not funny at all. Yet somehow I would find myself being sad sometimes. I couldn't find a particular reason why but the heaviness that used to possess my body made it difficult to do even the basic necessities of life. Some days they were easier to handle and some days they suffocated enough to make me knock myself out with sleeping pills just because the reality was too undesirable. I just didn't want to live. Now that I have a reason, I know that things can be always worse this way as well. Not being able to literally move or have those basic necessities snatched away without any consent. The comparison between both seemed hard still. Because like the former... I just don't want to live. Ivan sat on the toilet seat with his leg crossed
The answer is right in front of me. The answer is right in front of me. The answer is right in front of me. I kept staring at the reflection in the mirror. A corpse with sunken red eyes and pale skin. Bones peeking out a little too prominently. A soul, equally dead. What could he mean? What did he mean? That somehow Liza is in front of me or did I know the answer already? Or was he the one who knew it. Of course, he did, but then it would mean he didn't answer my question at all. Except explain a ridiculous paradox that somehow a cat can be both dead and alive at the same time which is not possible. A cat, a radioactive substance, a radiation detector, a hammer, and poison. If the cat was Liza then I was the radiation? The radiation detector... Dimitri and the hammer and poison just tools? It made sense only partially. I sighed and looked away from the mirror. The sight revolting me as I felt disgusted of the shell
I opened my eyes and blinked a couple of times to find myself in my room but with the lights off which never happened before. For some reason, they were always kept on making me think that they cannot be turned off at all. The night glowed outside and shined in through the glass windows and inside the room, making things barely but enough visible for me to walk towards the door. My hand felt cold against the warm doorknob as I frowned and realized that I didn't know they had a centralized heating system either. Why were things suddenly changing? I turned around with my hand still secured around the knob, eyes searching and confirming that I was indeed alone in the room otherwise I wouldn't have made so far across from the bed without being interrupted. The wooden floor whispered in squeaks underneath my feet as I made my way towards the staircase. It was hard to forget what I saw. I knew now that Dimitri's odd behaviour was triggered only because
A man of mid-twenties, always well-dressed, doesn't talk much, has a well versed rule book of supposed gentlemanly etiquettes, traditionalist, misogynistic. Sadistic. Vile. Repulsive. Pathetic. Liar. Psychopath. I stepped further into the room but didn't let go of the door as I stared in horror at what laid in front of me. A wooden desk and a matching chair placed with the intention of receiving the perfect view of the bathroom. I couldn't look at it any more and averted my eyes to the...thing that I never doubted to be anything but a mirror. The toilet, the bath, the shower, the whole area in view for his unnamed pleasures. He enjoyed my unsuspicious mind and trifled with it. I hadn't given it much thought, but Dimitri never tried anything extreme physical with me for which I was thankful but now that I am on the other side, I feel nothing but immensely violated. How many times had he seen me naked? How many times has he enjoyed the v
The world around dimmed down and then completely ceased to exist as I took a step deeper into the dark and unknown abyss of something very unfamiliar and dangerous. Somehow this territory felt more threatening than that of the one upstairs. A certain heavy air, a tension that set all the red flags off in my head. Probably because Dimitri was here. I was met with a wall after the last step on the descending stairs, two hallways yet again. One to the left and the other to the right. An indecisive choice, one undetectably more safe than the other. The light from upstairs appeared to come at an end as well, the hallways looming in the darkness like I was stepping into hell itself. There was no way I could have made a safe decision without being a psychic which unfortunately and most definitely I wasn't. Time wasn't a friend either. With the cards all turned against me, I took the right one like I did the first time. If something bad was going to happe
I was happy. Very happy and sad. It must be because I didn't want my fears to come true. I definitely didn't want Liza to be caught in this mess and get tortured because of me. Tied to a chair, weak and helpless. She was receiving the worst side of what I was going through and in comparison, my situation was hardly anywhere as cold as hers. That is why I was feeling sad. That must be why I was feeling sad. The way back from the darkness behind the walls was a complete blur. I don't remember anything after I saw what I saw and heard what I did. What's left after, is now, in the bed, under the covers, with the several safe alibis I placed before, undone. Voices inside my head nagged and criticized me for not exploring more of the unknown as much as I could. They tried to drown this other silent yet persistent whisper that was bothered by Dimitri's actions. I simply refused to acknowledge it, but this itching feeling underneath my skin ma
The chair scraped against the carpeted floor, not loud but the cocooning silence made it seem so harsh against the muted ears. Perhaps the beginning of the dramatic events that were supposedly lined up next. A siren, a red flag, a blow of a whistle as my captor refused to match my eyes while taking the seat opposite to me. The third one still empty and unoccupied. I wanted it to be Liza. I wanted to believe it was going to be Liza but of course it won't be. It will be a good sign if it wasn't Liza because then it would mean that they didn't know about my secret knowledge. Needless to say the obvious, this night would have turned out to be more deadly than it already was. Sometimes I really wonder if I am stupid. Too dumb and foolish to realize the obvious. A disappointment. Probably the reason why I may never make it out of here. How could I not realize that the third seat would be for the third person living in this house. A living, breathing, annoying and cal
The wallpaper looked interesting. The small little flowers with thin tendrils wrapping and reaching out to the other flowers, sitting against a dark green background. A little faded out, a little unnoticeable until someone looks at them, really looks at them. Maybe because they are bored, maybe because they are a keen observer of the surroundings or maybe just because they want a distraction. His face was so close to mine. The slow warm breath fanning my cheeks inhaling me as if I was a flower, a Rose, held in his arms as we danced to the soft melody echoing in the piano room. His well-fitted black suit against my red satin dress. Rustling, touching, brushing against each other. An arm wound around my waist, hand reaching to the small of my back, another gripped my palm in his. Small baby steps. Left, right, sway, back, front, round. The wall. The wall is so pretty. So interesting. It should be enough to help me drift away and not be here. Not at