[Cordelia–earlier this evening]
He doesn’t believe me. He can’t even see me.
And he thinks this is all my fault.
Watching Atlas speaking with his secretary in hushed tones as turns his back on me reminds me of the scene from the other day in the cafe. All the small, tender touches between them, are so different from how he treats me. Even right now, his hand is on the small of her back protectively as he pulls the suitcase across the threshold.
I watch the scene unfold, helpless to do anything.
Here I am again, the fool, watching him love another like a stranger in my own relationship. Only now he is bringing her into our home, flaunting his relationship right under my nose.
My world is spinning. With blurry eyes I rush past them on the stairs, heading to my room. I slam the door behind me and land with a crash on my bed.
The mumble of their voices in the entryway below just confirms what I already knew.
“He doesn’t love me and he never will,” I mumble into my pillow. “Forget about Atlas, he means nothing to you.”
I’m not sure how long I lay there face down, talking myself out of loving him but I must have fallen asleep. The room is dark when the sound of something crashing to the ground startles me awake. There is a slam, like a body hitting the wall followed by moaning.
It is coming from the wall I share with Atlas’ study room, which if I remember has a nice, large couch just big enough for two.
I cover my ears with my pillow. But it is not enough, I can still hear them. Nothing I do makes the sounds from next door stop.
“Oh Atlas…” she moans, another slam hitting the wall. In my mind I can see Atticus above her, pushing her onto the couch over and over again.
Something else hits the ground. They are so into their passion they aren’t even being careful when they knock things off of shelves.
“Oh hell,” Atlas grunts, and I see his face, the way it looked that night when he was close to reaching the edge of his passion.
I was right. He did bring her here just so he could have his mistress close to him. I can’t keep going on like this. I refuse to lie here, listening to them slam into one another with so little discretion or consideration.
Grabbing a suitcase out of the closet, I begin throwing clothing and shoes inside. I make sure to grab enough for a few days, or at least until I can get a chance to buy new clothes. Everything in this room was purchased with Atlas’ money. I want nothing to remind me of this place once I leave.
Of course, he probably won’t even notice I’m gone either.
As I march down the stairs, my stomach starts to grumble. I still haven’t eaten much since I fell ill and I missed lunch and dinner again. That’s probably why I’ve been so dizzy.
But I don’t want to stop. I need to get out of here.
“Cordelia,” a gruff voice calls after me as he huffs down the stairs.
I have no intention of stopping to talk. Not after the sounds I just heard. There is nothing he can say that would make it acceptable for him to have sex with another woman in the room next door to me. Even if he is mad at me, there is no reason to be cruel.
As I misjudge the distance in the dark due to anger, I miss the last step on the staircase.
“Cordelia!” he leaps the rest of the way down the stairs. Bending down, he scoops me into his lap. “What are you doing? Why are you walking around at night with…” he looks over and sees my packed bag and his voice falters, becoming quiet. “Are you going somewhere?”
His arms are tender, and gentle, as he holds me waiting for a response. I close my eyes as his hand brushes away a strand of hair. Feeling myself firmly within his grasp sends tingles throughout my body as I remember the night before and how gentle he had been with me as he set me down in his bed. “Atlas, I..”
I smell something sticky and sweet that makes my stomach turn and my lips curl. Honeysuckle, jasmine, and…winter rose? I open my eyes, the smell of Sydney’s perfume making my eyes water. Looking at his shirt I see a smear of pink lip gloss in the perfect shape of lips on his chest near his heart.
That’s right. I was out here for a reason.
“Goodbye, Atlas,” I right myself and walk towards the door, my left foot wobbling as I make my way around him.
“Cordelia, Where do you think you are going?”
I open the door. It has started to rain again. Fitting, considering our marriage started on a sad note.
Let it end on one as well.
“You’ll be hearing from my lawyers, Atlas,” I say firmly as I look into his blue eyes one last time.
“I want a divorce.”
[Atlas] A letter from Cordelia’s lawyer arrived two days later requesting that I schedule a day for us to meet and go over the terms of our divorce. When she left that stormy night, I never thought she’d seriously go through with it. I expected her to come crawling back the next day, wet and resigned. She never learned how to take care of herself alone. She moved from her parents' house directly into mine. She’s never had to do anything for herself. When her lawyer’s aide dropped this letter off at my office he was swift and kind. It has all been handled in such a mature and professional manner I find myself glowing in pride for how much Cordelia has grown. I guess she grew up while I wasn’t watching. Eventually, I’m going to need to call her lawyer. Set up an appointment to speak with Cordelia. Maybe even convince her to not go through with this divorce. But not today. Today I am finally finalizing the deal with Bryant Textiles. The letter has been on my desk for a week
[Cordelia] After I hung up with my lawyer, I wasn’t sure where I should go. I couldn’t go to my parents, they would just send me straight back here to “fix” things. I didn’t really have any friends…my whole adult life has been tied up in being the wife of Atlas Steele. When I got married at the age of 20, I dropped out of school. The only person who had ever made any effort to stay connected was my old college roommate Tilly. I almost didn’t call her, I was worried that my troubles would just be a burden, but when she answered, she was overjoyed to hear from me and immediately invited me to meet her for drinks and catch up. We hit it off immediately and it was like we had never been separated. When I told her about my marriage and the disaster it had become, she offered me her spare room. She didn’t want rent or anything for it. The only price she asked of me was to “use this place to heal–and start designing again!” Because Tilly had grown up to become Mathilda Madison, de
[Cordelia] “I’m surprised to see you here.” Sydney’s reflection takes up most of the mirror. Her face is twisted into a small, mysterious smile. She is holding a full glass of champagne in her finely manicured hands as she circles me. Everything about her glows–her hair, her gown, the points on her stiletto shoes. “Do you like my outfit?” she takes a sip of her champagne before adding “Atlas bought it for me. I didn’t need him to, of course, but he does like to spoil me.” “Um hmm,” I murmur, “Excuse me, I…” She puts her empty hand down on the counter, blocking me in. “He’s very generous,” she takes a moment to gently caress the jade necklace that graces her neck like the kisses of a lover, “but I’m sure you already know that.” The way she hits that last word, like an accusation, tells me that she knows it isn’t true. Seeing the hurt in my eyes, she digs deeper. “You should have seen him this week. I was so proud of him. We have been working late nights all year. He looked s
[Sydney–Earlier that Evening] “What about this one?” I twirl in front of a mirror. Atlas is standing to the side, speaking with the shop attendant. He looks up from his phone briefly, giving a weak thumbs up. Sighing, I go back into the dressing room, shaking my head at his inattentiveness. To be fair he didn’t ask to be here, but after his last-minute invitation, I guilted him into giving me a ride. Making a decision, I picked the dress that got the most reaction from Atlas, a gold lame ensemble dripping with crystals and gold sequins. As I go up to the counter to pay, I realize I must have forgotten my credit card at home. “Oh shoot,” I swear, turning to the shopkeeper. “Can you just put this on hold for me? Last name, Bryant.” “What’s wrong,” hearing my distress Atlas puts down his phone. “Don’t you need that dress for tonight?” “I forgot my card at the office,” I sigh, showing him the inside of my empty wallet. “Not a problem,” he pulls a platinum card from his inside co
[Cordelia] When choosing what to wear this morning, I wanted something that could make me feel confident and strong. I ended up wearing large sunglasses and a designer dress–my armor to hide the fact that I had spent the night crying and I still feel sick to my stomach with anger and sadness. Atlas is ready and waiting at the office when I arrive, looking as freshly pressed as always. Sydney is standing just behind him, her head down, holding a briefcase and her coat. She is also immaculately dressed, her pink Chanel suit a perfect complement to his darker attire. Both sets of lawyers stand framing a large oval table. On that table are several stacks of paper arranged in order of what needs to be signed and by whom. Divorce is never simple, but a divorce with billions of dollars on the line is always a mess requiring many hands. Our marriage was more than just a marriage, it was a contract that combined our family fortunes and businesses. Now all of that hard work of combin
[Cordelia] My body is shaking as I drive across town and I am still in shock over my mother’s words when I pull into the parking lot of the hospital. A kind nurse shows me the way to my father’s room. After thanking her, I stand outside his door, my hand above the handle as I try to calm my nerves. My father might be dying. Hearing that from my mother hurt in ways I wasn’t expecting. It is one thing to know it might happen someday and another to see it happen before your eyes. We’ve tried over the years to build a stronger relationship, but there is something about the two of us that just doesn’t mix. Even when I try to do my best to please him, it always comes across as a lack of effort on my part or some type of disobedience if I choose to do it my own special way. It has never been my intention to hurt him, but every time I try to be my own person, it seems to harm our relationship. As I take my last deep breath, the boisterous sound of my father’s laughter rings out i
[Cordelia] Curiosity drives me to accept the doctor’s offer of coffee. We take our conversation to the small cafe located near the hospital lobby. Taking a seat in the back corner where we can have a bit more privacy, he tells me everything he has observed about my father. “Heart attacks have very specific symptoms, none of which your father has. At your family’s insistence, three doctors and four nurses, including myself, have all checked his vitals and he seems perfectly healthy. His blood pressure is slightly elevated and he has high cholesterol, but that isn’t unusual for his age.” He takes a slow sip of his coffee, wincing. “At best I say he had a panic attack,” I take my own hesitant sip. The look on his face makes more sense now as this is probably the worst cup of coffee I have ever tasted. “Panic attacks can sometimes feel like heart attacks,” he explains in more detail. “Your heart seizes for a microsecond and your body feels a considerable amount of pressure. It’
[Cordelia] “I thought he would be here by now,” my mother’s heels make a gentle clicking noise as she walks back and forth, “Maybe he doesn’t care for her as much as we had hoped.” “No, he’ll be here,” my father chimes in. “Atlas is loyal. It won’t matter that they are divorced. He’ll be eager to reconcile…” “If he doesn’t get here soon, she’s going to figure out something is going on,” My mother hisses. “What if she finds out that you’re pretending…” “Meghan, you’re worrying for nothing,” my father’s gravely voice assures her. “The department head owes me. None of his staff will say anything against us. Anyone who speaks out of turn will lose their position.” My father is lying to me. Not only that, but Dr. Davis, a man who didn’t even know me, put his career on the line to tell me the truth. I don’t know what I did to deserve his kindness, but I am grateful he was here for me today. Without him, I don’t think I would have the courage to do what I’m about to do. I push open th