(Cole’s POV)
I follow behind Alpha Demetri and his son a short way across the main hall on the first floor. They stop at the first door they come to, the numbers 101A are screwed into the center. I stop a few feet from them as I have a preference for keeping my distance from everyone. I only get close to those I’ve observed for a while and I have a motive for learning from them.
I can hear a short beep briefly before the sound of the door unlocking. Alpha pushes down on the handle and allows the door to swing open before looking back at me and encouraging me to enter.
I move cautiously as I have never been beaten this badly by my dad before going to another pack’s territory. I would think the risk of another alpha discovering my secret relationship with my father would have been too high for him to be so careless. Yet the beatings have only gotten worse with each pack he’s sent me off to. Combine denying me my medication with the hardship of hiding my injuries and he’s making it easier for them to discover the abuse I’m suffering much sooner. I’m certain that this alpha has already figured out that I’m being abused and I’ve barely been here an hour. It’s become clear to me that he’s using the warrior program as a new way to abuse me. I can’t think of how many times he’s told me that I’m too weak for any alpha to accept into a second run and it seems like every time I come back I have to deal with the council poking around. He will refrain from abusing me while they’re there but the moment they leave I’m chained up and beaten three to four times a week until he decides to send me on another run. So it’s not difficult for me to go pack when my dad tells me to, that I'm going to whatever pack he decides is next for me in the line up. I need to get away from him just as badly as he hates seeing my face in his territory.
I step inside the room several feet, completely neglecting to even search for the light. It’s as I place the pack I’m wearing on the bed that I’m startled by the light being flipped on. I turn quickly to see that Alpha and his son have stepped inside the room with me. The alpha gives me a smile but says nothing. It seems he’s started observing again. I turn and start moving slowly around the room taking in everything.
“Would it be okay if I put your wet clothes in the washer?”
Alpha Damian asks, causing me to freeze and look at him. He lets out a nervous chuckle as I study him with my head cocked to one side.
“It seems like you haven’t been met with much kindness.”
I let out a slight hum as I run my hand nervously over the left side of my head.
“Not from alphas.” I speak quietly. “Yes. I would appreciate that. You said you stock soap and other stuff like that?”
“Yes, I’ll show you where it’s at once you’ve explored a bit.”
I nod my head as Alpha Damian makes his way over to a large closet at the back corner of the room. I watch him open it up revealing a full size washer and dryer stacked inside.
“I’m going to run this through a quick rinse cycle before you do a full wash.”
I nod again with a quiet thanks. Exploring the large room has taken my mind off the events that had just happened and it seems like the alpha has picked up on my calmed demeanor.
“Cole, it’s very important that you tell me the truth. I promise you nothing you tell me will result in you being removed from my first run. The only things that I will remove you for is if you steal, fight, rape, take recreational drugs or drink until you're stupid. I don’t tolerate any of those things. So, are you usually on medication for your anxiety?”
I freeze in the doorway of the bathroom.
“Yes sir.”
I speak quietly, ashamed to admit that I have an issue.
“It’s not something to be ashamed of but it’s important that I know what you're on and the dosage.”
I shake my head slowly before I speak again.
“I’ve been on several different combinations of medications over the last several years. Dr. Carter tends to change the combination every time my dad forces me off of them, trying to figure out the combination with the least amount of side effects. The last set of three with either Xanax or Valium to help me at night on the really rough days I did really well on. Minimal side effects compared to other combinations and I wasn’t a zombie or felt like I was drugged. I was actually close to....”
My thoughts wander off track as I walk around the rest of the room.
“You felt close to normal?”
Alpha finishes for me. I nod my head in agreement as we continue to talk.
“How long have you been off of it?”
“Three, almost four months. My dad has been getting more persistent at blocking all my efforts to get to it while I’m home.”
“He doesn’t want you on medication?”
“No. He says taking medication is an admittance to weakness and he refuses to tolerate any shows of weakness from his son.”
“Do you know what you were taking?”
I sigh as I shake my head.
“Are you able to find phone numbers of doctors at different hospitals?”
This time it’s the alpha looking at me with a cocked head. I can’t help but return the curious look while waiting for his response.
“I should have enough connections to dig up a doctor. Do you have a name?”
“Carter. Dr. Alexander Carter at Red General. He’ll likely recommend a different combination as the biggest trouble I seem to have is eating while on them.”
“Thank you.”
He gives me a smile and a nod.
“Will you tell me why you’re on this medication?”
He asks slowly the one question I don’t want to answer. I shake my head slowly
“I’m sorry Alpha, I can’t. I don’t expect you to understand but I can’t. I just can’t.”
“I didn’t think you would. Trust is an easy thing to lose but hard to gain. Hopefully, in time, you’ll be able to see me for who I am and change your mind. My door is always open.”
I nod my head in silent thanks waiting for the next thing to come.
“It’s getting late so how about we get you out here to the table of food. Take all you want as you have a larger apartment sized fridge in here you can store food and drinks in. We have bags of ice in the dining hall by the main pack house. You can grab one at dinner tomorrow and bring it back. We also have disposable cups, plates and plastic utensils you can bring back too. Cleaning supplies are in the walk-in closet next to the stairs. Personal necessities are in the walk-in closet on the opposite side. Don’t hesitate to grab what you need. If there is something specific that you need let me or one of the trainers know and we’ll try to get it for you. Damian and Dominic will be here at seven to lead everyone over to the pack house for breakfast. They will do this everyday this week then you’ll be on your own. Expectation is that you are showered and ready to start training when you get there although when this place gets full I do have some prospects who choose to switch to evening showers over morning. I’ll come get you at breakfast so get your food, take your time eating, when you’re done you’re going to meet with me in my office. I’m going to have my lead doctor in the medical wing join us with the phone call to Dr. Carter. I’m putting you back on your meds while you're here. There’s no reason for you to suffer like this.”
I nod quietly again yet against my better judgment I ask the question I think I know the answer to. “What happens to prospects that have a major mental health issue, like ptsd?” “It depends a lot on how stable the individual is and why they have it. A lot of wolves have ptsd from battles where they witnessed pack mates killed or they were severely injured. It can have a lasting effect but with therapy and proper medication the council will allow them to return.” “Oh.” “Not the answer you thought?” I shake my head as I follow them out the door to where the food is set out. No one is down here yet which is a relief for me.“Are you good on your own now?” I look at the alpha before nodding my head. “Thank you Alpha.” “For what?” “For your kindness.” He gives me a smile before placing his hand on my shoulder. For the first time that night I manage to keep myself from pulling away or jumping out of my skin. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Cole. We will talk more in the morning.”I
(Content Warning)(8 year old Cole POV)I yelp as I’m awakened by a sharp blow to the back of my neck. Before I can fully process what’s going on I receive a harsh slap across my face. I grab the side of my face, gently rubbing away the sting as my eyes well up in tears. I yelp again as my mom starts yelling at me. “What are you doing sleeping before dinner? There’s too much you need to get done before you go to bed and you know it.”I try to back away from her as she’s only inches from my face. Unfortunately this show of fear earns me another hard slap across my face before she grabs me by the back of my neck and drags me out of my chair.‘Fuck! Not the submission hold. Anything but that.’ I think silently. But it is. She forces me to my feet as I try to fight against going to my father’s office, the place of nightmares for me. My fight gets worse, crying and begging my mom not to leave me with him but as always my pleas fall upon deaf ears. She opens his door to find him on the ph
Tuesday, January 23I fall from my bed as I violently fight against the blankets that I have wrapped around me. My ass hitting the floor jars my back badly sending waves of sharp pain through my back and legs, knocking the breath right out of me in the process. I immediately start into dry heaves as my body starts trying to rid itself of what little I managed to eat yesterday. I scramble on all fours, never making it to my feet, as I push myself to the bathroom before heaving dinner into the toilet. As I sit back against the tub I realize that not only am I in a serious panic attack but I’m starting into a bad asthma attack as well. I’m gasping for breath as my panic consumes me. It takes everything I have to keep myself sitting up but I know it’s not going to last as black spots litter my vision. I manage to check my watch and register in my mind that it’s midnight. ‘Great,’ I think to myself ‘still seven hours before someone finds me’ as I collapse into unconsciousness. I wake gas
“Try to relax with me Cole. I just want to help as you’re struggling really bad right now.” I nod my head slowly as I try to force myself to cooperate. I fail miserably, letting out a soft high pitched whine that I’ve had since childhood. I’ve learned over the years that as I’ve gotten older only certain people, mostly the doctors, can even hear such a distressing whine. I step away from the alpha as he steps closer to me, whining as I do, just to be stopped by Damian’s grasp. I notice Damian making eye contact with his dad suddenly before talking with him. “He’s been making that weird little whine a lot and he’s struggling to breathe bad enough that he’s not talking.” “You can actually hear it?” Alpha Demetri sounds shocked. “Yes, but I’ve never heard a whine like that. Have you?” “It’s not common for an adult to have that whine, but I have heard it plenty when I was an intern at the hospital during my pediatric rotation. Pups experiencing high levels of distress and pain wil
Exactly to his words, once I’m standing, he guides me in a gentle turn allowing me to feel when to sit instead of pushing. I sit on the edge of the bed, pushing myself to breathe as it feels like the vise on my lungs is clamping down harder. The whimpers from my childhood are even more persistent as the spike in my anxiety is getting worse, worsening my asthma.“Dr. Pierce was able to get a hold of Dr. Carter. He mentioned that you get really anxious in the hospital making the whole process of getting better harder and longer. I have also picked up on your hesitation towards me. Which makes me believe that your alpha is quite harsh with you. Is he?” I nod my head slowly as I attempt to talk. “My .... dad ...” “Your dad is also your alpha?” ‘Damn that was a quick put together.’ I think as I slowly nod again.“So you are indeed one of Alpha Charles Redmen’s sons?” I nod again. “Okay. I feel this is going to be strange for you but I would like to try to help you like I do with Dami
“I know it’s hard but it’s important that you don’t fight us right now. We’re just trying to help you. You’re in a really difficult situation being in a new territory with leadership you don’t know or understand. I get it. I really do. Is there anything we can do that will help you relax?” “Xanax.” “You take a sedative when in the hospital?” I nod slowly as I attempt to reach for the mask. “Let me put the mask on you. I promise it will help you.” I shake my head trying to get away as he brings it close again. He lets go of my hand as my wheezing worsens from the stress, gently placing it on the back of my head while finally placing the mask on my face. “Just breathe Cole. I won’t strap it to you yet but you need to breathe.” I try to fight but he moves with me, keeping the mask gentle on my face allowing me the time I need to accept it. “Angela, do we have any Ativan here or is it only at General?” “I stock the half milligram dose here. How much?” “Let’s start with two pills.
Suddenly my chest cramps up badly and I can’t help but fight everyone around me. I hear Dr. Pierce instructing Alpha Black as to what she needs. “Demetri, I need that mask to stay on him and I need space to listen to what his lungs are doing when he’s like this.” As hard as I’m fighting, Alpha manages to keep the mask on me without smashing it to my face like most others have. Dr. Pierce manages to stay gentle with me as well while I’m starting to panic from the lack of air moving through my lungs. “You’ve gotten real tight on me and your oxygen level has dipped badly. I know this hurts bad but I need you to submit to us, let us do all the work. All I need from you is to breathe. I’m going to get a different mask and put more medication in the nebulizer. Demetri, if you can, go ahead and try to lay with him. This amount of stress is going to drop his body temperature and Dr. Carter already told me he tends to run on the low side. He’s going to need your body heat until we get every
I find myself relaxing with the alpha’s sermon towards his beta. I can tell by the sound of his voice that he is remorseful for his harshness without the alpha getting overly aggressive with him. I feel him on my hand again and once again I pull away, whining persistently as I don’t want him on me after that encounter with him.“Relax Cole, he’s not going to do it again.” This time he keeps a firm hold on my hand as I move around, following my movements instead of yanking on me. “Much better, Patrick. He’s just like Damian when it comes to needles, only he’s a harder stick which means when I start I need you to keep him still without yanking on him.” “Yes, ma’am.”He sounds submissive now but that doesn’t make me any more comfortable with him. Dr. Pierce uses my movements to get the band around my arm. The discomfort of the tight band spikes my anxiety, tightening my chest. I start moving my legs slowly against the alpha’s using caution when it comes to anything sensitive. “Cole,