WhitneyI don't think I've ever been this nervous in my life. Running my hands down the jeans I'm wearing, I hope to dry some of the sweat off of them. As I pull my SUV into the parking lot and find a parking spot, I see Ryan's truck already there. That boy is nothing, if not punctual. I look down at the clock on my dashboard to see that I'm fifteen minutes early myself. Makes me wonder how long he's been here; he was probably wondering if I'd show up or not.He sees me and gets out of his truck, walking over towards my vehicle. I can't help but watch him as he strolls across the blacktop. There's something about the way he walks that shows his authority. He doesn't look down, his gaze is always straight ahead, even though his hands are tucked into his pockets. The jeans he wears are just the right amount of loose, the black t-shirt he wears hugs his body tight. The aviators covering his eyes give him an air of mystery. With the boots on, he looks like he owns the place. My hands s
WhitneySo far I've been pretty lucky. Other than a few times, morning sickness hasn't been a blip on my radar. Today that changed in a major way. I take a look at myself in the mirror and squeeze my cheeks, hoping to put some color into them. I still have the nasty taste in my mouth since I have no toothpaste or mouthwash. I hope it doesn't cause me to get sick again. I have to figure this out, I have to pull myself together and make this work."Are you sure you don't want to go home?" Addison, asks as I come out of the ladies room for the third time in the last hour. I hope that no one has noticed and that no one thinks I was on a bender the night before. That's the last thing that I need right now.I shake my head. Being able to do my job, being able to support myself is the only thing that's kept me going for years. It was the one thing that pulled me through my divorce. It forced me to get up every morning, put my feet on the floor, and face the day. It didn't matter how cra
RenegadeShe looks exhausted, even in the candlelight surrounding us. Unfortunately, I don't know much about her job, but given the way she brought her shoes into the house with flip flops on her feet, I assume that she stands for a good portion of any event she's planned."How was your day?" I take a bite of the asparagus, almost moaning. There are three things I do well. Cook, fuck, and take down bad guys.I watch her take a bite of her cream of mushroom covered pork chop and daintily swallow. The movement of her throat muscles mesmerize me, and I have to adjust my seat, which is almost embarrassing."It was long, but good."She doesn't offer more than that, and honestly that's not enough for me. If we're going to do this, I want to know as much as I can about her daily life. Right now I know what she tells her brother, and what he in turn bitches to me about. "Did you have an event?""A wedding," she smiles. "It was gorgeous, too. They were a young couple, extremely in l
RenegadeAll night I've slept maybe three hours. I haven't wanted to miss anything, because Whitney letting me in her bed to do this isn't going to be a regular occurrence. With everything I have in me, I know that to be a fact. Last night, she'd been weak. She'd needed someone to take care of her, and she'd been strong enough to let me do it.I have no doubt as soon as she wakes up and realizes I'm still in her bed, she's gonna kick me out. Am I okay with that? Not really, but I'm not in any position to make demands. I want the two of us to have an amicable relationship. She holds all the power to let me see my child too, so I want to be the type of guy she can get along with and be proud to have in her corner.Her ex-husband wasn't like that, from everything I can gather. I want to be different, be a much better man than he ever thought he could be.There's one thing I can't deny though. How right it feels to have her in my arms. Sometime in the middle of the night, she snugg
Renegade"It's been a slow fucking day," Tank yawns as the two of us sit in our patrol car, clocking speed on a side street off of a main thoroughfare. The town's had complaints about speeding being a problem in this residential area, but so far we've seen nothing.There's no lie in his statement. It's been one of the slowest days in recent memory for me. After the past week though I'm enjoying it. Every time I'm with him, I have a rush of guilt and I'm scared I'll blow the cover on the baby. This is one thing Whitney and I haven't really talked about, and I plan on bringing it up at our first dinner tonight.I smile slightly, thinking about the dinner we'll be having tonight. She said she'd like to cook on Tuesdays, leaving me with Thursdays. Off and on we've texted a little, trying to figure out if there's anything either of us absolutely hate, anything we both love. It's been mundane conversation, but to know I'm on her mind, even that way, is worth it."It has, I'm ready to
WhitneyI've been anxious since I heard his truck pull in the driveway. It's not overly loud, but loud enough. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have one of those annoying mufflers like Trevor put on his. Like all of the things they share in life, they both have a love for big trucks. Both blacked out with chrome, but Ryan's is lifted a little higher to accommodate his height. Trevor makes jokes about how Ryan has little man syndrome, but I know better. A flash of heat runs through my body as I think about his size. God, I miss the feeling he gave me as he thrust into me that night, the welcome weight of him laying on top of me, the way our eyes locked when he made me come. Damn, it's hot in here now.Fanning my hand in front of my face, I try to cool my wayward thoughts. This past week has been awful. If I didn't know better, I'd think I'm a teenage boy. After looking it up on the internet though, I know I'm good. This is completely normal, no matter how unnatural it feels.Putting my
WhitneyTuesday night has now become my favorite night of the week, followed by Thursday. For a month Ryan and I have been doing dinner. The first week was awkward, but now we've settled into a pattern. I cook on Tuesday and he cooks on Thursday. I try not look too deeply into why Tuesday is my favorite night, but I know it's because I get to take care of him.We've still managed to keep our secret, but it's not going to be much longer. The morning sickness has finally gone away and now I'm starting to gain weight. My clothes are fitting more tightly now that we're almost into the fourth month. We're going to need to start decorating a nursery and making plans soon. I'm a planner, obviously, and we both want to know the gender of the baby, can't even begin to tell you how excited I'm becoming about this new season of life.I check the clock on my SUV as I pull into the driveway. I have about forty-five minutes before Ryan gets here, which is nice, because that means I'll be able
RenegadeI've been good. Since this started I've let her call the shots, let her decide what part I get to play, what she'll allow me to do. I've never been the type of person to just sit back and let others direct me in my personal life. Doing what I do for a job, I have to be able to take, execute, and adjust my orders. I don't like it so much when I'm cut off at the knees in my personal life. It hits me like a freight train, the need to show this woman what I want from her.Her finger nails are cutting into my flesh she's holding me so tightly. The weight of her body is leaning into me, and I'm taking it. I want to show her how much I support her, how invaluable I am when she needs someone to lean on. I'm not the kind of guy to run when things get tough. Never in my life have I backed away from a fight, whether it be between me and my dad, me and gunfire in the middle of the night, or me and a perp. Ryan Kepler hangs around and gets the job done, no matter how difficult it is.