Her Fears

Ethel was bent over the floor, picking the torn book on the floor. She hugged the book to her chest and let out a heavy breath to calm herself down. 

Books were her biggest comfort since she had no friends or relatives willing to be her comfort. 

She got up from her crouched position and as she did so, she got a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Everything that she could call her feminine beauty was hidden under the baggy hoodies and the baggy pants that she was wearing. 

For Ethel, there was no reason to dress up, no one bothered to glance at her anyways. 

Ethel moved closer to the mirror but did not have time to examine herself in it properly as the lights suddenly went off. 

Ethel gasped and sprinted towards the light switch, she tried turning on the lights but it was not working. Her lips let out a panicky cry, she was afraid of the dark and it was something that everyone knew. 

Ethel did not have to be told that her father had turned off the lights of the house intentionally. Ethel reached for the door of her room and tried opening it but it was locked already. 

"Mo... Mother" she called out as her eyes looked around the darkness, not being able to see a thing clearly. 

Beads of sweats were already forming on her forehead as her back pressed against the door of her room. 

"Mo... Mother" she cried out again as she slowly slid to the floor of the room. 

She panicked in the dark and closed her eyes tightly, cuddling her knees to her chest, trying to calm herself even when she knew it was not going to work, it never worked. 

"You would always be mine."

"Let's play more in the darkness"

"I like the dark, it allows me play with you"

Memories flooded her head and she could hear footsteps approaching her. 

"He is not here. He is not here" Ethel repeated the words to herself, trying to assure herself that she was the only one in the room and the footsteps were not real but it did not work as she felt the footsteps get closer. 

"Stop!!!!" She screamed out, feeling her knees go weak and slip to the floor. 

"Matthew, what are you doing?! Open the door right away! How can you be like this to your own daughter?!" Ethel heard her mother's voice from outside of the door. 

"Mother" Ethel shrieked, a streak of hope coming into her heart. 

"Don't call out to anyone. You will like this" Ethel gasped with tears as she heard the voice again. 

"My daughter? She can't be my daughter if she is afraid of the dark!" Her father retorted.

"It was your fault! Bringing your stupid younger brother to our home. If he had not molested Ethel in the dark, she would not be like this!" Her mother yelled. The woman's heart could not stand hearing her daughter crying in the room. 

"She should have healed! It's been so many years!"

"Listen to me, Ethel"

"If you want the lights back on, then agree to what I asked of you!" His voice held the hatred for his daughter and determination. 

"Matthew! You cannot be this cruel to her!"

"Oh yes, I can be and I will! That ungrateful brat would not agree to help us, then I am going to teach her a lesson"

"Using her traumatic past against her is not the right way to teach your daughter a lesson!" Ethel's mother yelled. 

"She is only my daughter physically, I have long cut off all emotional attachment as her father off and I will deal with things my way" 

Ethel was already crying in the room. She did not know why she had to go through all of this, why she had to be the one everyone considered a bookish need, why she had to be the one to be molested by her uncle, why she had to be the one her father hated and her sister taunted, why she had to be the one to go through all of this. 

Ethel felt fingers touching her body and she screamed out loud. She knew none of it was real. The voice, the feel of fingers on her skin, none of it was real but she could not help it but be terrified. 

"I guess you will get over your fears tonight since you are being so brave. When you are ready to have the lights turned on, let me know"

"You will love it. Do not tell Mommy or Daddy" she heard the voice whisper in her ears.

It all felt so real, way too real and Ethel could not take it anymore. Her heart was getting heavy and she felt she might pass out anytime soon. 

For a second, Ethel managed to think in the darkness. Maybe it would be the best thing for her to agree to be the substitute for her sister. Alpha Carlos could be cruel once he found out about it but Ethel was sure that no one could show her more hell than her father was doing to her already. 

Her desire to get away from her family, from her father, the desire to get out of the dark pushed her into agreeing with her father's terms. 

"I will do what you want, father!!" She screamed just as she felt fingers pushing her baggy pants away. 

"Good decision!" Her father replied and finally threw the keys at Ethel's mother. 

He didn't even wait for a second to care about his daughter whom he had just let go through hell. He turned and walked away from the door. 

Ethel's mother quickly opened the door, letting the lights seep into Ethel's room. 

Ethel fell to the floor completely, her eyes staring at the ceiling as the lights in her room turned back on. 

Her lips were parted in heavy breaths and her cheeks were wet with her tears. 

"I am sorry, Ethel. I am really sorry" her mother apologized, getting down on her knees and pulling Ethel to her thighs, hugging her daughter.