"Glasses," he commanded, motioning with his chin while his hands opened the mustard.I could tell by the glance he gave at the empty sink he realized I hadn't bothered using a glass while drinking down the carton. I could almost hear what Mom would say every time she thought I was sneaking a drink without using a glass. Dad was silent as he gave the milk a quick sniff to make sure it hadn't spoiled.He emptied the last of it into the two glasses I set on the counter."I'll go shopping once the stores open," Dad said.There was a pause, with closed eyes on his part, as if he was pulling himself together still. When he opened them, he picked up the milk glass, raising it as if making a toast."Congratulations on getting a response from those many applications you filled out," he said.A slight smile like old times touched his lips before he hid his disappointment at me leaving him soon. I think he just realized he needed me as much as I needed him."I know you've worked hard. Which comp
I didn't feel like listening to another lecture, especially without Mom around to keep things from exploding between my dad and me. I also didn't want to lose the camaraderie my dad and I had tentatively found. He sounded tired and looked drained, but managed to pull on hidden reserves to get him through this.The way he was looking at me wasn't his usual condescending smirking glare, nor was it the demanding drill instructor, the no-nonsense-tolerated, stiff-ass attitude I often got from him when he taught me anything about being one with the wolf.It took me a second to realize he was going to try and speak to me like an adult, someone of equal standing. It's about time, I thought triumphantly. I took a breath and leaned forward a bit myself. I didn't trust myself to say anything other than, "I'm listening."Dad gave me a small, wane smile. I was sure his usual way of talking to me was ready to come out the second I acted immaturely enough, in his opinion, to blow it. His self-depre
"I don't hate you."A partial truth. He was my father, and I loved him. I just hated his ongoing sermons and training. He was a wolf living in a human world.I was a human who merely also happened to be able to live as a wolf. I grew up human, despite our family excursions as wolves. I was part of a deep and cultural human community. I had family beyond just him and mom. I was part of my mom's tribe, a connection with society Dad never had, and possibly, I realized, a connection he couldn't completely comprehend. I had an identity beyond being a wolf. I honestly couldn't see myself having any trouble out in the world.My dad was right about me sharing mom's desire to learn, and his too. Teacher he might be, but in his heart, Dad was an eternal student.Dad gave a little hmph as if he knew what I was thinking. He probably did, as often as we'd yelled it back and forth. But then Dad grinned a bit as he walked over and put his hand behind my head. He pulled on me until our foreheads met.
I took a moment while out of Dad's view to wince and rub my shoulder. I stuffed the very wrinkled bag in the back of my sock drawer without even looking at it. Peeling off the ripped shirt, I threw it in a corner. I had to bend over some to take a look at my shoulder in my dresser mirror. Touching it gingerly, I knew I was going to be sore for the next few days.No clean shirts left in my room, which meant nothing to hide the bruise that was working its way across my shoulder. I resented that grip but knew I wouldn't have stayed if it hadn't been there. And I had promised to listen.I demanded to be treated like a man and got more than I bargained for.His words about possibly becoming a rapist came back to me. He never said he had, only that the struggle in a crowded city was too much for him, how finding mom had been a godsend.I didn't want to ask, but at the same time, I was desperate to ask, to be reassured that my dad was who I always thought he was.It was my turn to try and st
The next day was more of the same, with Dad going out of his way to get me ready to be on my own. The first thing the following day was a long trip into the county seat to get a motorcycle added to my driving license. He insisted on a helmet, and I didn't argue.He also insisted on a trip to the mall while we were in town. He bought me one dress shirt and a few casual shirts so I'd have something other than my usual tees. We had lunch in the food court, where he instructed me to bring the wolf within me closer to the surface. Dad was leaning back, remaining casual, commenting on the various smells and sounds. I was glad it was mid-week and not too crowded.I felt like I was about to panic, freaked out by this new attitude he had. He and I had never really just hung together. It had always been my mom and me who took off to go places. It was hard to match his casual atmosphere and just chat about the wolf. It was hard to push down the rebellious teen I had been. I didn't know if I coul
Wolf.Man.The wolf I had just been was more wolf than I had ever been before. I felt confused and disoriented. I glanced at Dad as he eased the truck back on the freeway.I am a man. I knew I was! But…My body twitched, even though I had completed my transformation. My clothing felt constrictive. I tried to speak, but the words wouldn't form.Dad nudged the water bottle over until it bumped my thigh. I awkwardly managed to unscrew the top and take a sip. I didn't trust myself to put the cap back on. My eyes followed my fingers as they moved. It was like I didn't know my own hand.I automatically turned when Dad sighed."Open the glove box."I pushed the button, and the small compartment door popped open. Inside was the usual assortment of papers for the truck, a small first aid bag from which many a bandaid had come when I was a kid, and the heavy leather pouch Dad called his emergency kit.I knew what was in it, and had seen everything there many times when we went camping. I pulled
The whoops and hollers we could hear had Dad smiling as we got out of the truck. When we were close enough to see the bonfire, he laughed and gave me a push to join my friends. It was the last all-out gathering before school resumed, and probably the last time I would see my friends for a while. I was leaving tomorrow.It had been strange with Dad; good, but strange. We had talked, really talked, long into the night after we got home. I asked him all those questions I wasn't going to ask, and heard all the answers I wasn't sure I needed.It didn't stop there. Early in the mornings, we talked about food and finances, domestic household stuff. Every day after we ran together in the woods, and often during our runs, we'd discuss the wolf. During workouts, we shared ideas about fighting and shifting. I found myself motivated to work out with him. I didn't mind the soreness or the fact I had more bruises than our workouts had ever given me.We filled our nights with stories of Mom from befo
The wind whipped at me as I indulged myself for a few miles. I had taken my helmet off and allowed myself to be as much wolf as I could while controlling the motorcycle. This is the sort of brainless thing my dad would chew me out over, and something I'd always dreamt about doing. Right now, I couldn't resist. I had a clear, empty stretch of back road with no parent in sight.I couldn't wait to start my first day of work. I was looking forward to putting my education to good use. My new job suited me. There was an extensive range of chores involved. I'd enjoyed doing most of them at one time or another around the reservation.Dealing with the public is something that was also part of the job description. I worked seasonally at the old lava tubes back home and often did tours there; that's probably one of the things that helped me get this job. Being a Forest Ranger wasn't the highest paying or most glamorous job in the world, but it was hard to be a wolf and not appreciate the beauty