Shattered.
Perhaps not physically, but it felt like every bone in my body had crumbled to jagged shards. Like huge pieces of gravel with sharp, pointed edges. No, it didn't hurt but felt immensely heavy instead. All this weight. This heaviness, that possessed me, left no room for breathing, let alone any movement. I wondered how I was alive at all.
Then perhaps I was in a nightmare. And that made me happy because this will be over soon.
"The weather today is nice." I closed my eyes, trying to shut the tears in. The slap of reality is never too kind.
Wind blew softly through the leaves when I opened my eyes again. While the dusky sky, a shade of faded pink, looked like dawn. Or was it dawn? Time had slipped away, just like everything else in my grasp.
"You have to be very lucky to have such pleasant weather."
The sun shined warmly, not the brightest, as the wisps of clouds lingered in the blue sky. Wind whispered through them, the barren bran
Black for men and red for women. A strange norm that has been followed universally, which distinctively showcased the supposed beauty of those two genders in settings that are anything but casual and loud. It defined the event more, and addressed the general agenda of how the night is going to progress. I looked down at myself, wondering if I was wearing or had been made to wear anything like that, but to my relief I was still in my comfortable sweatshirt and sweatpants in grey. Hair still oily and dirty from the several days of unwashed heaviness, skin dry, lips cracked, pale. Such a contrast to the rest of the people in the room as they gathered round the table in their neat and polished attire, which can be achieved only through practiced care. It made sense now as I understood why I was let to be
Their laughter echoed against the walls of the room as music still played softly with the crackle of fire in the warm fireplace and delicate snow falling outside. The candles on the table were almost at its ends and so was this awfully unbearable dinner as they chatted on an empty table after dinner while I sat there, hands still tied up and completely ignored. With my head held down, I could do nothing but endure this painful moment. My only solace, this obnoxious dinner, like every other thing, will pass away in time. The only cost being patience.“I mean, how could you be so stupid? Chasing the very thing that you should be running away from! Hah!” Ivan, with his self sprawled against the chair a lot less elegantly, commented at a previous remark which I wasn't quite following at all.The plates and dishes were all cleared off the table now. What remained now were crystal tumblers for two and a bottle of a whisky which looked nothing
A lone tear dripped down my cheek while the unwavering smirk still remained, coronated on my face. The jab that I received was hurtful indeed, but I was not going to let it kick me down. I could do this all day and night. Scream profanities at them, break them inside with jabs of my own and oh even if they didn’t show it outside, I knew that they were getting hurt all the same. Them being better at suppressing their emotions is the only field in which I would accept defeat. These men made up of dead and unemphatic matter are hard to come by, but just my luck that I was forced to live and be around two of them.“Oh, but poor Ivan, aren’t you the same? Aren’t you lonely as well? You think these two people sitting here, talking with you, like you? You think that they are spending time with you because you are his brother and I don’t even know what is happening between you two, but nonetheless, do you think that they prefer being around you
“You are seriously asking that?’ Perhaps Dimitri’s question was not meant to be heard by me. It was addressed more to himself than to me, but I was still on an adrenaline rush, and I was not going to drop any chance to express my opinions. This kind of fuelled energy came to me after a long time in the form of fiery rage and needless to say, it was a lot easier to carry than the awful heaviness.This adrenaline rush, excitement at the sheerest spark of hope was shocking to me. It explained how puny us humans are, who get swayed so easily if a prospect of something favourable comes up. And I was no different.Dimitri shut the door behind him as quietly as he could and walked away with squeaking floorboards in his wake. A clear indication that the path was clear but too risky to tread on at the moment. All the liars were still awake and aware. I needed them to be asleep so that I could stealthily walk away from here without being caught. At least he was
My heart pounded in my chest so loudly that I could almost hear it thump louder than the old floorboards underneath my feet. Cold and merciless as I stepped on them. It was funny or rather surprising how I was sweating so profusely even in this biting chill of the night. It’s definitely going to be much more cold outside, but that is far more bearable than being trapped in this house even for a second. I reached the stairs and stopped, trying to listen for the slightest bit of noise in the still air that would give me an indication of my failure at being stealthy. What if they are still awake? What if their sleep is too light that breaks at the slightest bit of commotion? What if all of this is somehow their plan to punish me for my earlier indiscipline? Nothing. Absolutely nothing was heard as the seconds ticked by into minutes and moments of anxious d
How did I manage to forget?I turned around slowly and looked into a set of haunting eyes that clenched around my heart in the tightest grip that I have ever felt. One that ran a cold shiver down by whole body as I stood there frozen, staring at a Liza with tears brimming in her eyes.“L-Liza. I-I…” I took a step forward, with my hand reaching for her, but she turned a little sideways, showing her disapproval, which instantly stopped me in my tracks. Guilt heaved on my shoulders like a heavy boulder that didn’t want to budge at all as I slouched and looked down in shame. How could I forget?“You are leaving.” The words came out so sad and slow out of her lips like a broken feather. I didn’t know what to tell her or rather do to make this wrong a right.All this time, I waited around to find Liza and escape with her. All the trouble I went through, the opportunities that I missed. All for her. An
“Who told you so?”I stared at her with a completely frozen mind. Not a single, alternate possibility occurred to me that could replace the assumption that I had. What she was saying or rather suggesting through unsaid words was too ridiculous to even be acceptable as a reality. In what state of position could she ever agree to that? The Liza I know would never do something this preposterous.“W-what do you mean?” Would she even answer my question? Or dismiss it like the million others I had?“Rose. I can not let you kill me and my baby. This baby is all that I have got, and I am not going to let you take away this bit of happiness from me. The only one that I left.” The determination in her voice was solemn and shatterproof. It was clear to me that she won’t come with me. But shouldn’t she try? Her fear of something else was imminent, but I didn’t have any clue as to what it was.“You are
I don’t remember what happened next. No possible recollection at all, except for the vague and blurry visions I have of me blacking in and out and a lot of commotion around me. Strong bright lights blinded me at times and strange mumble of voices. Perhaps I was underwater. Maybe that’s why everything seemed to out of focus and the noises and everything around me looked so close and yet felt so far. And this strange heaviness on my head that heaved on my whole body, made it impossible for me to move at all or even keep my eyes open for that matter. I was immensely weak.“I think she is awake.” An unknown voice spoke somewhere near me. I couldn’t ponder much on the specifics, but the fact that it came from a stranger, a voice that I hadn’t heard before, a voice that wasn’t the one I feared it was, jumpstarted my heart into a frenzy. The rush of adrenaline I felt, coursed through my veins unrestrictedly and helped me gain a better consciousness. “Hey, hey, hey, you are okay. Calm down.