WHEN Mrs. Carter, my best friends mom, shows up at our door step with a flustered look on her face and a envelope in her hand, I am completely taken by surprise.
I haven't seen or spoken to her since the funeral and didn't expect to after tha
Ienter my therapists' office after school despite my insistence to my mother that there's no reason for me to go anymore and that sending me to these sessions are pointless and a waste of money. "Katherine." I acknowledge the middle-aged woman as I plop down onto the love seat in the middle of the room.
I'Mnotonly sleep-deprived but starving as well. After sitting through a few classes and being scolded in each one for not focusing, I finally find myself sitting at a lunch, table staring down at my tray of tater tots. "I can't believe you just did that." I hold my stomach as I double over
SOMETIMESI wonder what it would be like to just disappear. To just vanish and leave all your worries and problems behind. I wish I could do that now. Disappear. But, I can't. It's an endless battle between me and my thoughts, and I'm losing. "Alexa, can I talk to you for a moment?" Mr. Callaghan stops me before I can exit the classroom. It's the end of our second-
Ilook at myself in the mirror and just stare at the prominent bags under my eyes, hoping that maybe if I stare long enough, they'll go away. Even the many layers of concealer I'm wearing can't cover up how utterly exhausted I am. I sigh and grab my sunglasses and the duffel bag carrying my necessities before making my way downstairs. "Hey, where you heading off to
THEnext day,I'm awoken by the sound of my phone dinging at what has to be about one hundred dings per second. It's Alison and Madison wanting to know what exactly happened at their party and if I'm okay. When my phone finally stops emitting that harrowing dinging sound, I close my eyes and attempt to fall asleep again.
Ifeel itall at once. All the sadness and grief and confusion. It all comes rushing to me the second I wake up, tears rolling down my cheeks as my heart begins to beat faster and faster and faster. Today is November fourth. Cam's birthday.
Inever understoodhow people could just feel broken. How they could be so broken in their soul that they could physically feel it as if they were being pounded down to nothing. Until they felt dead inside. Now I understand. I finally understand the many ways you could kill someone without stoppin
ALLI see is red. The repetitive beeps sound from every angle and I have no idea what it is until my eyes shoot open. A stinging sensation pierces through my eyes as the white light of the room hits me. Once my eyes adjust to the brightness, my head begins to pound as if it's been smashed against pavement. I try moving, but my body is stiff. My eyes trail down my b