From the window of my room, I observe the intense glow of the silver circle, solitary despite being surrounded by bright points. Just like me. Six months have passed since I learned about my ex's betrayal, but the scars on my heart still ache as if no days have gone by.
I tried to move on, distract myself with work, friends, hobbies, but nothing seems to pull me out of this state of pain and deep sadness. I catch myself always thinking about him, about the happy memories we shared, and then the pain is sharper when I realize that it was all just a lie.
Likewise, I still have nightmares. Furthermore, I dream about him and the other woman, about the humiliation I felt when I discovered everything at the altar in front of more than a hundred people. And even when I'm awake, I still feel a tightness in my chest, as if the world is crumbling around me.
I take a pause from writing, look at the moon's glow again, and sigh tiredly. I need to recover, I need to shine again like the moon, regardless of its size, regardless of my pain. Maybe I need to be away from here, away from everything that reminds me of that fateful day. Leandra comes to my mind now, she always wished to have me with her in Berlin, "even if it's just for a day," as she said the last time we spoke.
I stand up, leaving the diary aside, enter the room, and pick up the phone from the bedside table. I take in the air with determination and release it slowly before searching for Leandra's number, my sister who has been living in Germany for seven years. It doesn't take long, she answers.
"Hi, Léah, how are you?" I ask in a hoarse voice as soon as she picks up the phone.
"Hey sis, I'm great, and how have you been?" she inquires with a concerned voice.
"I've been trying to heal before this wound becomes chronic," I say.
"I... I'm sorry," she murmurs after a brief pause. "Why don't you come spend some time here with me? There's nothing better than traveling to forget a heartbreak."
"That's the reason I'm calling you," I say, hesitating.
"Are you finally accepting my invitation? Are you serious?" she asks excitedly.
I put the phone back to my ear after moving it away from her shouting.
"Yes. And I'm thinking of staying indefinitely," I reply.
"No problem at all, you and yo... SIMON, GET OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW," she yells at her two-year-and-eight-month-old son. "Sorry, Niah, this kid just doesn't stay still. What was I saying again? Oh, you have impeccable timing..."
"Why do you say that?" I raise an eyebrow, curious.
"It's just that right now at the company where I work, the position for the creative director is vacant. And my boss tasked me with conducting interviews with potential candidates for the position, and I have to select only three portfolios for him to choose the perfect candidate himself," she explains.
"Wait... do you still work as an HR assistant at the Metamorphosis advertising agency? No," I exclaim, bringing my unoccupied hand to my mouth and then sit back down on the edge of the bed.
"Yes, my dear."
"Oh my God, that's great."
"Isn't it? Bad luck in love, good luck at work."
"Actually, it's good luck in gambling."
"Doesn't matter. Send your resume and portfolio right away."
I rush to the office/library, which is in the same hallway between my room and my sister's room. Just like in my room, everything here is meticulously organized. The physical books are sorted by genre and alphabetical order, and the computer follows suit – documents, photos, music, videos, and e-books are all in different folders. Therefore, it doesn't take me long to find the documents I need.
I open my email and attach the files, then send them. A new life awaits me, I whisper. Seconds later, I receive a read receipt for the email, and minutes later, she replies.
One step is already taken, the next one is harder – communicating my decision to my family, how will they react? I don't know. Tomorrow I'll have my answer. After finishing my brief reflection, I close the computer and return to my room, elated by this step I'm determined to take.
***
The sun's rays invade my small room, highlighting the delicacy of the yellowed curtains. Although I wish I could stay in bed all day, I remember I have one last task to complete: the presentation of the website I created for a sports goods company.
I walk slowly to the bathroom, still drowsy, rubbing my eyes. The cold water running down my body relaxes me, and my mind drifts back in time without my realizing it.
"The fruit of our love is on the way, mom, and dad are already too excited."
"I always knew this relationship wouldn't go far, it was too good to be true."
I jump when I hear knocks on the door and realize that I've been lost in thoughts for several minutes, with the water continuously flowing over me.
In a hurry, I cover myself, exit the bathroom, and in my room, I come face to face with Nilza, sitting at the edge of the bed, staring fixedly at the medium-sized photo frame – me in a wedding dress. “I need to take that down.”
"What are you doing here?" I inquire, trying to keep my composure.
"I-I needed to talk to you," she said, approaching. "I'm so sorry for what happened, I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't."
"You knew all along that he was cheating on me and never said a word," my voice trembles with anger, "and now you come here trying to justify yourself? I don't want to hear your excuses, Nilza. I never want to see you again."
"Please, you need to listen to me," she pleads, gripping my hands. "I was afraid you would get hurt even more if you knew the truth. I didn't want you to go through what I went through."
"And what do you know about me?" I shout, pulling my hands away. "I was living a lie, preparing to marry a man who was cheating on me. And you knew it and did nothing to help me."
"I-I know," she says, sobbing. "I know I messed up, and I'm so sorry. But please, you have to understand that I was only trying to protect you."
"Protect? Protect me how? Let me marry a liar? You don't know what protection is, Nilza. You only know how to betray a friend."
I push her out of the room and slam the door shut. I want to scream, cry, but I hold myself back. Likewise, I won't cry again, not for anyone else. I sit on the bed, my head spinning with emotions. I didn't know how to deal with this betrayal, but I knew I would never trust Nilza again.
I finish getting dressed and head downstairs. I stop in the middle of the living room and see Quezia setting the breakfast table, Quelson is watching something on TV, and Mom is in the kitchen. Still visibly nervous, I sit down without uttering a single word to them. "When I'm like this, I prefer to stay silent, so as not to hurt anyone with my words," she stops what she's doing and looks at me with confusion, not understanding my behavior. "And now, what's your problem?" I feel anger surge as her question reaches my ears, which, given what happened a few minutes ago, is both foolish and provocative. I place the fork on the plate with such force that it produces a brief, irritating noise. I stand up and meet her brown eyes with mine, squeezing my eyelids shut for a few seconds before releasing a sigh. "Are you seriously asking me that?" I make an expression of incredulity. "Quezia, Mom, both of you, or rather, all three of you..." I point to my brother, who is sitting in t
Doubts torment me and sleep eludes me. I get out of bed and walk downstairs to the kitchen in a daze. Without thinking, I put the glass of water somewhere, and the sound of breaking glass echoes through the house. Worried, I mentally pray that my mother hasn't heard, but life doesn't always grant our wishes. She appears behind me, scolding, as all mothers do. In silence, we clean up the mess I've made together. In an unexpected gesture, my mother hugs me without saying a word. It's a tight but comforting hug that makes me feel less alone at this moment of imminent farewell. We talk about my departure, and Mrs. Candida advises me with the wisdom that only mothers have. Finally, she holds my hand and blesses me, which makes me feel emotional and grateful. I promise to always keep in touch, and she hugs me again, as if she doesn't want to let me go. Tears run down my cheeks as I say goodbye to my home and my family, certain that nostalgia will be my steadfast companion. I con
Continuation.His comment reminds me of how and why I got to this point, and the promise I made. Once again, I apologize, move away, and return my attention to the book. He seems like he's about to say something, but hesitates, straightens his posture that was previously leaning towards me, and continues watching the movie. In the front row, there's a lady with a baby who seems to be about six months old, and in front of them, a man with an angelic-faced little girl who appears to be around four years old. I believe he's the husband and the girl's father, judging by the way they're looking at the baby. For some reason unknown to the parents, the baby is crying uncontrollably, and they can't seem to calm him down.The woman is desperate, not knowing what to do, and the father tries to calm the little girl who is getting anxious due to her brother. Other passengers are whispering things that I can't hear properly, but I can imagine what it is. I feel sorry for the mother who is not
Tobias Bernstorff I hear the pilot's deep and melodious voice announcing the landing at Berlin airport, and my senses sharpen. I widen my eyes, searching for the woman who sat beside me the entire flight. I glance around, but I don't see anything until I get up and spot a colorful notebook with a butterfly on the cover, presumably a diary. Carefully, I pick it up in my hands, and that's when I see Nihara near the exit of the plane. I try to get her attention, but I'm stopped by the flight attendant, who instructs us to follow the disembarkation order. "Nihara, please," I shout, but her gaze is brief as she continues down without being able to turn back. I wait patiently, and when I finally leave the plane, I scan the airport with my eyes, looking for her in every face. But she seems to have vanished into thin air, leaving me with the anguish of not knowing what to do now. "Tob, what's wrong? Are you okay? What are you looking for?" Harry asks, appearing behind me in confus
[...]Steering away from these thoughts, when my ears catch my father's velvety voice. "Son, you're not an impostor, don't ever say that again. What happened wasn't your fault, and you're doing a great job fulfilling the promise you made to your brother. He would be very proud of you." "Yeah, bro, Dad's right. Stop dwelling on it," Herman approaches, followed closely by Astrid. Before we know it, we're all intertwined in a warm and lingering embrace. "Alright, let Tobias go up to his room and rest. He's tired from the journey. My son, take a good shower, rests. It's one o'clock now, get some sleep. The event will start at six in the evening."Mom, I received Sophie, who fusses until she reluctantly agrees to go to her lap, or rather, she was coerced. I felt bad about it, but I'm really exhausted and need a few hours of sleep. ***I wake up two hours before the event, peek through the window and see a glittering garden with lights pointing the way to t
Nihara VittiI wake up half an hour before the pilot announces the landing. Tobias is still sleeping so peacefully, as are a few other passengers. The Lancaster family is also awake, except for little Olivia, who is still sleeping serenely in her seat."Hi, Ollie, did you sleep well?" I greet the boy, who is in his mother's lap, facing me. "Mr. and Mrs. Lancaster, how are you?""We're doing great, and you?" They respond with a broad smile."So, ready to land in the beautiful city of Berlin?" the husband asks."I can hardly wait; it's the first country I'm visiting, and I hope to be warmly welcomed.""And you will be, dear. Berliners may seem cold and distant, but after a few days of getting to know them, you'll discover some incredible people," Mrs. Adele speaks with a warm smile on her face."Thank you, I'm sure you're a sign that I'll do well here."Finally, the pilot announces our arrival over the intercom, and the landing procedure begins. As we land and are allowed to remove our s
Nihara Vitti It's now fifteen-thirty, and Léah is getting ready for the big event. Although attending it would be a good opportunity to meet new people, I'm very tired from the trip and still haven't been able to get any sleep. I want to take advantage of the fact that she'll be out to do just that. "What do you think, a tight dress or a loose one?" she asks, holding up two dresses on hangers. "Hmm, let me see. It's a gala event, right?" "Yes, it is." "Then I think the tight dress suits it better. But let's look for another one, a black one, the color of elegance. I believe you won't be the only one in this color, so the dress has to make you stand out right away," I explain as I search for the ideal dress. "Wait, I have the perfect dress; I brought it to wear on an occasion like this..." "So you shouldn't have given it to me..." she starts to say, but I give her a disapproving look that makes her stop mid-sentence. "Alright, put it on now," I order. It's not long before she ap
TOBIAS BERNSTORFF I appreciate a good glass of wine while I indulge in a long, relaxing soak in the whirlpool bath. It has become a habit that does wonders for me after a trip. I step out of the bathroom and spot a tuxedo laid out on the bed, most likely prepared by my mother. I dress myself and stand in front of the mirror, carefully combing my hair back. A quartz watch adorns my wrist, and I grab the tuxedo jacket before heading toward the door. However, I pause when I hear the phone ring. I had left it forgotten on the bed. Before answering, I check the caller ID, but it displays an unknown number. "Hello, this is Tobias," I answer as I leave the room. "Uh... hello, it's Tobias." The person on the other end is hesitant, and I can feel their difficulty in talking to me, but I don't understand why. "I'm sorry, but I can't recognize the voice. Can you tell me your name, please?" I ask after the person finally answers. I stop halfway down the stairs, stunned, when I hear the wo