Year 1863
Thea peeked out from under her blanket.
"Kay?"
"What?"
Thea turned around, her head slightly raised. She observed the man who so-called cousin who sit beside her.
"Let's talk until I fall asleep," she pleaded. She choose to keep talking to distract herself from unnecessary things.
"Do you want me to sing a lullabies?" Kay asked.
They used to tell stories before bed or chat about everything. He also sang her lullabies. Sadly, that had not happened since he was busy at the hospital. They didn't know how much they have lost their life stories about each other.
Thea muttered. "No. How about you tell me about your long list date?"
Kay stared at her in surprise.
"Why do you suddenly ask me that?"
"I'm just curious. Your friend –that white shirt man– said you are quite popular among women."
Thea had never been to a party and heard about it in person, but as soon as the party was over, she could hear some rumors about Kay at the street. Back then, she didn't take action just because Blake said it had no require any attention. Like that, the rumors about Young Master Wilkess who handsome, shimmering and splendid float everywhere, it hadn't occurred to her that Kay was actually in a relationship with someone judging by the way he had been.
Thea wondered if Kate knew about this. The girl had a certain gruesome with this brother. She had no known why. Kate wouldn't believe it even if Thea wrote a letter and validated that Kai was popular with women.
Kay glanced at her. The white shirt man? "You mean Rupert?"
Thea nodded. "Come on, tell me. You never said who you have dated or who you loved. Anyway, we never talk about something like this right?" They talked about anything but never about love. She never felt that emotion after a long time and it naturally forgotten. Kay too, never spoke about it.
He looked thoughtful for a moment, crossed his legs and arms over his chest. His face seemed sad. Either because of the moonlight or something else.
"Hmm...what do you want to know? Well, where should I start? For your information, I don't date many woman."
"How about starting from your first love?"
"First love, huh? Alright. She's not ugly, quite filthy and… smelly."
"Be serious!" Thea hit him. "How could there be a woman like that!"
"Of course I'm serious! If you hit me again, I'll feed you sleeping pills!" Kay threatened her.
"Okay. I'm sorry. Please continue ... "
His memory drifted to the first time Kay saw her. The setback in his eye clearly visible.
"What I told you before is true. Even so, the gleam in her eyes when she looked at me, make me interested. And when I realized that happened, I told myself to forget it,"
"Good… a woman like that doesn't suit you," Thea commented.
"Tch! Don't insult her!" Kay hissed. "I will not forgive anyone who insulted her, including you."
Thea was silent, waiting for Kay to continue, that was if he still wants to tell her the story. Kay took a short breath. He continued,
"You know, for men, it is normal to be attracted to women for a few moments. Maybe that feeling lasts for three or four months. And after that? there is no continuation. Men will get bored and look for others. I thought I was like that too. I didn't know if I really loved her, until I dated several women."
"That's weird. So you went on a date before you fell in love? To the same woman?" Thea got up and leaned back like Kay. She was more interested in Kay's story than sleeping now.
"Yes and no."
Thea looked at him, not quite understanding. "You're cheated on her?"
"You wish! Of course not! What kind of man do you think I am?"
Thea laughed. "Then?"
Kay cleared her throat. "Erm, well ... somehow if I do something, I always hope that woman is her."
Thea's eyes widened. "So… when you kiss your date, you wish it was her? That dirty woman?" her voice rose slightly. "Did you sleep with them too?"
When Thea was wandering around at night, she had seen several young nobles bringing their partners to do XXX in certain places. She even had to cover her ears in despair while they were around her mission without noticing her presence.
"When you sleep with them, did you imagine her too?" When Thea looked at Kay who looked embarrassed, she almost shouted. "Kyle Wilkess! What kind of man hmp– "
Kay covered her mouth. "Stop being so prejudice and slandering my good name."
She has a lot of swearing for this kind of guy but she nodded and pushed his hand. "Okay. Now tell me, where's that dirty woman? Did you tell her you love her? Is that woman a doctor on Rupert's ward?"
"Enough of your bedtime fairy tale, Lady! You better go to sleep!" Kay pushed her to lie down and covered her with a blanket.
Thea opened the blanket. "You slept with them?" she asked, curious.
"Yes! I also sleep with you now, you see?"
"Not sleeping like this, I mean. Oh, come on Kay! Just tell me!"
"Then what kind of sleep do you mean?" Kay grinned.
"Well ... you know, something like that!" Thea felt ridiculous. "You are a doctor. I don't think your brain lack imagination."
"Imagination, huh? I see. So you are like to imagine that 'kind of sleep'? with whom?" Kay hovered over her.
Thea covered herself with angry expression. "Forget it then."
Kay laughed. "I would say it if you tell me what your relationship with Alexander Lutz. Where do you know him? Is he kind of your old flame?" Kay knew Thea was talking about things that were out of her preference because she wanted to make Kay forget what had happened to her earlier. Kay got along with it, so he asked her back the same thing.
Thea forgot for a moment before suddenly Kay brought it up again. About that man, and all the dark times.
"Ah I was so sleepy." She pretending to yawned. "Good night, Kay! " Thea pulled the blanket over her head.
"You're cheating, Thea Wilkess!"
Year 1853Some kid tried to cheat her when doing their chores. They always make Thea finished anything for them.Now when she sleeps, Thea locked her bedroom door tightly. Either she had privileges or the other children kept her away, she occupied the room alone.Jane asked the Sister to move her to another room. Even though her condition improved, Thea couldn't get any worse. The kids who bullied her always came back when Xander wasn't around.But Xander couldn't stop them all the time, like now."Oh, Witch! Do you have anything to burn today?" Ben came in while Thea was on duty in the kitchen.The other children stood guard at the door, monitoring the situation if Sisters or Miss Yerez came."Just go!" Thea returned to mopping without giving him any attention.Ben kicked the bucket and spilled its contents, startled her."Get lost, Ben!""Ha! How dare you say my name. So what? Are you going to curse me
Year 1863Thea pretended to sleep. She was still awake when Kay left her room. She couldn't sleep at all. The conversation between the two man before was still looming in her head.Something had happened, and she didn't know what it was. Without thinking, she took her coat and sneak out. London in the middle of the night is a good time to make a move. Thea rushed towards Mister Mild's residence. Maybe she could find something there.Mr. Mild's house was getting dusty after being left by its owner. Thea picked up the candle on the table. She had to light a candle because she didn't know what to look for. She returned to the study room, where Thea had last seen the old man.Thea started checking all over the place.On the desk, in the jar, behind the painting, in the drawer, one by one. Thea did it slowly and to no avail. Nothing important. Thea shifted to the desk drawer. Her hands fumbled in every part of the drawer. Just found a pile of u
Year 1853In this small world. Thea felt alone.She woke up, ate the hard bread, worked like a slave and went back to sleep. There's nothing better than this lousy routine.Maybe she should be grateful to be able to live with all this suck. But this suck-thing seemed to be a shackle that would not be broken in a long time.Perhaps, no one knew what it was like to be a noble who fell from her position.No one serves her anymore.Instead, it was her who served and carried out the others works as a form of isolation from the people around her.Her brain was trying to accept all of this. But her little heart rebelled.She wanted to burn them all, as they had accused her of. Thea wasn't a little angel who didn't hold a grudge for their treatment.They avoided her openly like the plague.Only Xander didn't care about it all.Thea thought of him as an angel that God sent to comfort her. The boy did nothin
Year 1863Xander's smile continued to widen. "Have you ever met any other kids besides me?" he asked, purely without any ill intention.But Thea's expression seemed to be misinterpreted by Xander. He then shut his mouth. Xander knew he had brought up the wrong topic. He cleared his throat."Uhm-""Would you like to take a walk outside?"Thea cut him off and offered walking at the backyard. After a while, Thea finally answered Xander's question."No, I never met the other kids," Thea hoped never to see them again. They walked side by side without a word.Meanwhile, Xander's eyes slowly stared at Thea's nape. She, who was sensitive, immediately realized that."Would you like to see it?" Thea asked.Xander shook his head, “Oh no. I'm sorry. It became habit, you knew it.”The two of them then fell silent, both busy with their own thoughts. “Did the Wilkess family treat you well?” Xande
Year 1853“Oh, I almost kissed you and gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Thank goodness you're awake,” Xander sighed. His hands cleaned the remnants of dirt stuck to her hair.Thea was still panting heavily.She played in the water and almost drowned in the bath, but what she felt this time was a hundred times more painful. She felt her nose sore and her head hurt. Her chest tightened a little and her stomach constricted.Thea grabbed Xander's shirt and coughed."Can you get me out of here, Xander?" She asked.Xander's eyes widened.A second later he smiled bitterly."If you get out of here, where will you go?""I don't know. Anywhere is fine. As long as it's not here. I'm afraid I'll lose control and avenge them."After a few times she had experienced this, her fearful ethereal soul had disappeared. All she could do now was endure it. But how long will she last? Which one will come fir
Year 1863How long had Thea not felt someone touch her lips?A year?Two years?No. It had been ten years since Xander had last kissed her.Thea was too shocked to realize what was happening to her. But a moment later, her sharp ears caught the sound of footsteps moving away. It made her respond to the thing in front of her immediately.She pushed Xander in flash as hard as she could."What are you doing?!" Thea almost shouted."Uh, I'm sorry, I…"“Please go home, Xander! Go back! Let's just pretend we never see each other again," Thea turned her back and left the backyard.Xander chased after her. "Thea! Sorry, I didn't mean to do that but my body did it subconsciously.” Xander himself was confused about what he had done.Thea ignored him."I bet I'm too excited to meet you," Xander tried to grab her but Thea move faster."Ridiculous.""Thea, wait! Let's tal
Year 1853 Thea moved freely as she wish. She even deliberately avoided other children and hide from them as much as possible after finishing her work. There were several kids who tried to approach her. She didn't know what their motive was and Thea didn't want to give them a chance to bully her again. She couldn't stop being alert after what happened to her over and over again. Thea also wondered why Ben and the gang had been so quiet these past few days. She always thought they cooked something for her as a surprise attack. And Thea needed to get ready. As the day passes, Thea and Xander became closer than before. Actually, it made her felt happy even though there were only the two of them. "This," One day, Xander presented her with a pocket knife. Its shape was not too big nor too small. There was some rust on the handle. But it was still working fine overall. "What's this?" Thea asked not because she didn't kn
Year 1863 Thea opened her eyes and blinked slowly. She felt something wet on her forehead. It was a small towel. "Thea!" Thea's eyes caught the worried look on Kay's face. "Where am I?" "In my room." Thea tried to sit up. Kay helped lean her back. He took the tea and let Thea take a sip of it slowly. "How are you feeling? Are you feeling better?" "I have no idea." Kay took her hand and tucked some fine hair behind the ear, then Kay stood up for a bowl with a lid on the table. What he did momentarily made Thea feel strange. "I heard you haven't eaten all day," Kay opened the lid and revealed the contents. "You must eat now." "I'm not hungry," Thea mumbled. "If you don't eat, I'll have to inject you again and take you to the hospital," Kay handed a mouthful porridge and force its way to her. "You injected me?" Thea asked, in disbelief. Thea scanned her arms. T