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40: Only You

WINTER:

Happy? Was I happy those times? Did I ever smile truthfully when I was with him? Did seeing his presence inside the house make me happy? Did seeing him working on his laptop make me happy?

The answers to those questions were big yeses. He was my happiness because he was my love. I loved him even if it was unrequited knowing my husband would never love me because that was only a business marriage.

“Pumpkin?” my ex-husband asked, pulling me out from my internal musing.

“Happy? You’re imagining things, Calcifer. Why would I be happy with someone whom I don’t love and who doesn't have any feelings for me? I was only happy when you stepped out of our house.”

He was quiet for a moment.

“I enjoyed every bit of it,” he confessed. “Being with you…brought calm in me. I was content and comfortable with your presence.”

It was the same for me, though I was not vocal about it.

Contented? Lies. If he did, he would never have broken up with me.

“But in the end, you divorced me,” I said qu
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