Jordan hasn't heard from me in a week, and he hasn't replied to my messages at all.
I didn't think about continuing to do it, and chose to continue with my life as it should be. I already understood that he was a busy person, and sometimes the cities he visited didn't have a signal.
I try to understand that, I also have no right to interfere in his business. I can only pray that he's always protected while doing the noble thing to help the underprivileged. Something that sticks out in my heart is an envy when I see people with their partners, doing normal things and looking happy. I wanted to feel that too, but I realized it was an unreasonable thing to think about.
I mean, everyone has their life and happiness. I don't have to envy them, because what God has given me is more than enough. So I stopped complaining and refocused on my work.
Jordan would be back, and he had promised to introduce me to his family. He had serious intentions towards me, even though he never touched me. But, how bad can it be? Sex is not an important thing to think about and is not a guarantee that our relationship will continue well.
And, I should stop thinking about unimportant things.
"Has Jordan contacted you?" Gabriella's question made me purse my lips in annoyance.
I shook my head, "Not yet."
"And you look normal."
"He's busy, Ella." I replied, shutting down my laptop and closing it. I glanced at Gabriella who was now walking towards me and then sat on the sofa beside me. "You know what his job." I continued.
Gabriella rolled her eyes. "But, it doesn't make sense for someone who's serious about you." There was a pause, she leaned towards me. "It's possible he did that to cover himself up."
"He's not like what you think, Ella." I replied with an annoyed snort that I tried to hide. I don't know what makes Gabriella always think badly about Jordan. Although I don't know what Jordan is doing behind my back, but I'm sure Jordan isn't as bad as Gabriella thought.
"And he's not like what you think, Amanda." Gabriella replied while shrugging her shoulders. "We both don't know what he's doing."
I sighed, "That's fine then. Don't talk bad about him. If he does something bad behind my back, then he will get the consequences."
Gabriella was silent for a moment, and then withdrew her crooked smile, and tossed the popcorn into her mouth. "You're too positive, Amanda." She said as she chewed.
I shrugged, not saying anything to her. I took three popcorns from the bowl, and watched Breaking Bad playing on the flat screen in front of us.
"Do you have an event tomorrow?"
I shook my head.
"Shall we have some fun tonight?"
I stopped chewing.
"Instead of brooding, and wasting your tears tonight, we'd better go have some fun. Rock yourself into a stupor. Maybe meet some better guy than Jordan." She said with a cheerful smile. "
"Hey." I shouted.
She laughed. "So?"I pondered for a moment and then nodded.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
I don't like parties and clubs. Whatever that is.
A crowded room with alcohol, the smell of cigarettes and crowded people is my nightmare. Two years ago I gave up my virginity under the influence of alcohol after a party my family threw in Seattle.
I'm not traumatized, I just often feel scared. To me those are two different things. If traumatized I wouldn't be here and chose to stay away from Gabriella. I'm just afraid of myself being careless by lowering my guard, and then ending up being wasted and ending up in bed completely naked.
I don't want what happened two years ago to happen again. It was a nightmare.
After all, I wanted to sleep of my own accord, with my conscious self and with the man I wanted. That's why until now I've never been drunk or in an unnatural state while accompanying Gabriella to have fun at the club.
Luckily, she didn't ask me why I didn't want to drink alcohol in a crowded place. She seemed understanding without being curious and was always trying to take care of me while we were here.
"I'm going to Jack first. Are you okay with me leaving?"
I nodded my head with a cheerful smile. "Enjoy your time."
She smiled, and then left me alone on the bar stool. Drinking apple juice, my favourite, and gazing at the people dancing wildly on the dance floor.
"Amanda?"
I turned to the direction of the voice calling my name. A man with blond hair and brown eyes approached me. He was wearing a polo shirt and holding a red plastic cup in his hand, and he smiled at me.
"Who are you?" I squinted. At first glance, he looked familiar in my head.
"Jimmy. We're in the same major."
"Oh yeah." I honestly don't remember seeing him before, because there were about a hundred students in the class, so I never really noticed the faces of the people. After all, that was five years ago and I wasn't one to care so much that I had to greet them.
"Are you alone?"
"I'm with my friend."
"Ah Gabriella. I didn't expect you two to be so close."
"We're still in the same apartment."
"Oh I see."
I nodded, moving in discomfort, for his gaze had already dropped to my chest a dozen times in the five seconds we spoke. Even though I only wore a regular t-shirt, pants and a green denim jacket. What's so sexy about this?
Jimmy paused as if he was trying to think of something else to say. I can't think of anything either because I suck at small talk. If he was someone I was interested in, I'd ask about how his college life was, or if he had a job, or what kind of music he liked, but the only thing I cared about was keeping my walls from losing my mind.
On the other hand, the fact that I felt that way made me feel like a loser.
"Ah this is so awkward. I'm sorry, I'm really not good at this." I said in a low tone.
Jimmy paused for a moment with a 'what-did-you-just-said' face and then chuckled, "As I always guessed."
"What's your guess?"
"You're an adorable shy girl." Jimmy answered closer and sat on the stool where Gabriella had been before.
"Oh, I'm not." I chuckled awkwardly. Really feel like this is getting worse because, I, didn't expect him to sit here and talk to me.
"You're like that, and you're charming in a different way,"
I turned my head to look at his face with a smile that gave me goosebumps.
"In your own way."
O—okay. I just blinked, and then chuckled awkwardly realizing that the current situation was getting more and more uncomfortable for me. Shit. What should I do? Excuse me for the toilet? It's too readable. Approaching Gabriella and Jack? I can not interfere with their intimate event.
"Then what are you doing now?" Jimmy asked.
I'm sure if this guy notices my discomfort, then I'll answer. I had to force myself to open up a bit with strangers in a place like this or I'd really be cursing myself for making other people uncomfortable, and feeling unwanted.
"I became secretary for the Director of Project Management at an IT company."
"Whoa." His expression radiated praise and admiration.
I chuckled, and took a sip of the liquid in my glass.
"You're amazing."
"Maybe I just got lucky."
Jimmy laughed. "Maybe in your previous life you were so kind that God loved you so much and gave you a lot of grace."
I don't know what good things I did in the past that God bestowed grace on my life. But, he's right. I'm so grateful because, as long as I'm alive, I've really been given a lot of luck.
I was born in the Dimitriou family, one of the richest families in the world who comes from Canada and is of Greek descent, Raphaello (Rafael) Alexander Dimitriou, my father is the largest oil businessman in the world and my mother, Aubrey Cammalia Jauris, the owner of a company engaged in Photography.
My two grandparents from both sides of my parents are also not ordinary people. That, which makes me grateful because I've always been in a life of abundance and excess. I really really appreciate that.
I just laughed at Jimmy's words.
Then, I asked him what his current job and activity was. He turned out to be a stock broker. A job that crossed his former major, which was the same as mine, because we were in the same department and I ended up as a secretary. Then, we started chatting casually about the lecturers, our college life, and our classmates.
See how easy this is? I should have fought my own irrational fear.
The three flashy men who had just entered the club made me cut off my words, and we turned simultaneously to the source of everyone's interest in the club.
And...
If my eyes were made of plastic, I'm sure they would have fallen off. Because—right now—what I saw in one of the three people was a man I recognized. The bastard who two weeks ago stopped me at the cafe.
Yes, that's him.
The same asshole who took my virginity two years ago.
I didn't expect to see him tonight, and I looked down so he wouldn't see me. Maybe if I concentrate hard enough, I'll be a chameleon at the table, and he won't know that I'm here.
Luckily, he didn't notice my presence. He stopped to talk to a few men, then walked towards the bar on the other side of the room, where he was immediately swarmed by half a dozen women who were batting their eyelashes and thrusting their breasts to get his attention.
Beside me, Jimmy rolled his eyes. "An attention seeker. He's not as good looking, you know that?"
I looked at Jimmy, shaking my head. "I didn't know that. Who was he?" I asked curiously. I, too, wanted to know who that man really was. The million dollar check he left two years ago already showed that he was no ordinary person.
"All I hear is he's an influential person in New York,"
I raised an eyebrow, meaning my guess was right. He is not an ordinary person, he can even become an influential person in New York.
"He's also the owner of this club, and the two people who came with him were his friends, who I'm guessing aren't ordinary either."
I raised an eyebrow, even more surprised. "He owns this club? Are you serious?"
"Of course."
I cleared my throat, suppressing the discomfort and disbelief that welled up inside of me. So I've been having fun in that guy's lair all this time? I have to get out of here.
"So...do you want to dance?"
"I don't .." the ringing of the phone in my small purse made me cut off my words. I grimaced, and excused myself to go to the balcony to pick up the call, Jimmy replied with a nod and a smile that didn't reach his eyes. I guess he was disappointed.
Jordan.
It turned out to be Jordan, I swiped the green icon and held my phone to my ear while I walked towards the end of the door leading to the balcony.
"Amanda?" Jordan asked over there.
I stood on the balcony railing, and sighed. "I'm here." I replied.
I should have been happy to see that Jordan called me after he didn't or replied to my messages. But I don't feel anything. The fun was sucked in by worrying about that bastard who would find me here if I didn't leave soon.
"Where are you?"
"Club."
"What are you doing?" his voice was harsh. Maybe he was mad or maybe he wasn't, because Jordan never looked like that to me when I was having fun at the club.
"Have fun, Jordan. What are you calling me for?"
"So i can't I call my girlfriend?"
"After a week without news of never calling and replying to my messages?"
He was sighing, "Oh my God, Amanda. I'm sorry."
"You've done it many times, Jord. Now, what's the matter?"
"Are you angry?"
"No, I totally understand how your job is, Jord." I replied, but I felt that it was completely different from the way I put it.
"Listen, Amanda..."
"We'll talk later. I have to get out of here soon." I cut it offo, and hang up the call.
I grunted harshly. I'm starting to want to get out of here fast before he finds me. However, a voice stopped my movement.
"Fighting with your boyfriend, huh?"
I froze. Turned around slowly and was surprised to find a man in a boomber jacket casually leaning in the doorway with a smile.
"Sorry. I was eavesdropping. Sounds really bad, do you want to have fun with me to forget it?"
I paused, staring at him with my heart beating fast. "Sorry, I'm not interested. Thank you." I replied while fighting off the tremors growing in my chest. I started to walk out of the balcony, but his words kept me from doing it. "You remember me, Amanda." It's not a question, it's a statement. Of course he knew that because I was so easy to read. Everyone says the same thing, I'm like an open book in front of anyone. Yes, I'm such a loser. His hazel eyes stared at me intently. A different look from the one Jordan always used when looking at me. He seemed to want to dominate and there was something behind his hazel eyes that made no one want to take their eyes off him. His head tilted like he wanted to strip my mind. I gulped, "Yeah, I remember you. You're an asshole who took my virginity when I was drunk, and so easily left a woman in the morning with a million dollar check, an expensive dress, a note, and treated me like a cheap bitch." I answered at length, unable to cover m
Jordan didn't take me to Madrid like he said before. Apparently. His grandparents had their wedding anniversary party at their home in New York.Thoughts about them not liking me or I am unattractive in their eyes are occupying my brain right now. I could only clench my sweaty hands to vent my anxiety. "Don't be nervous, Amanda. They're good people. I'm sure they'll like you." I gulped and nodded. Choose to gaze at the towering pine trees on both sides of the road.My attention was slightly distracted when I looked at how grand and luxurious this mansion was. This palace is in the upscale BlueStone district of Tarrytown. The number one luxury district in New York. This blue to gray mansion, which is styled like an Urban building in the 20's, caught my interest because it was so beautiful. The grounds were wide and green, dotted with short thick trees and neat lawns, beyond the grounds of this magnificent mansion was the Hudson River shining in the moonlight. I'm guessing that Jord
He can't be Rhysand del Millero. My heart was pounding in my chest, my stomach was churning and I wanted to run now before Bellva called them or Jordan pulled him here. What's in the hell? Why does the universe seem to be pulling him at me by these crazy coincidences? "Hey, are you really okay?" Bellva asked. I blinked consciously, and looked at Bellva. "Can you help me get out of here?" There was a question mark on Bellva's expression but she quickly nodded. We stood up, and then started to walk away from there. "Where do you want to go?" Jordan's question along with their approaching steps made me freeze. Bellva who noticed my movements immediately answered. "I'd like to take her to my room. She wants to see my James Taylor collection." I bit my lip firmly to hold back the turmoil that was in me, and then slowly turned around to face them—Jordan who was standing by his grandfather's side, briefly caught a glimpse of the man behind Jordan who seemed to be holding back his lau
My heart was beating fast in my chest, my stomach was churning. I closed my eyes for a moment trying to steady myself. I sucked in a sharp breath, and then twisted my body, the dress spinning around my legs. He towered high right in the balcony doorway. His hands were in his trouser pockets, the sleeves of his black shirt were rolled up to his elbows and two of his shirt pees were open, revealing the skin on his chest and tattoos peeking out a little. I swallowed heavily. Insist on putting on a flat face and not caring. Clearing my throat, I said, "And it still doesn't matter." "For a woman who just punched me yesterday and kicked my balls, you're pretty relaxed, señorita." There was a pause, he chuckled. "Do you know how important the part you punched was? You'll be disappointed if I don't get to use it." For a moment, I didn't expect him to actually say that, but he did. He really did. "And I'll cut it off now if you're not polite to me. Again." I emphasized that last word. He
The fact that the kiss affected me so much, made me want to submerge myself in the deep sea. I hate the mixed feelings that come from what that bastard did. I really hate him. And, that was two weeks ago, which means I'm totally screwed. After leaving Rhysand on the balcony, I went straight into the party. Not for fun, but to find Jordan. After I found him talking to one of his business colleagues, I immediately told him I wanted to go home. It's up to him to take me or not. But he drove me, and he still thought that the reason I wanted to hurry home was because I had a headache—a lie that Bellva told everyone. That night, I couldn't sleep because of the mixed feelings that plagued me. With just a kiss and a touch from him, he messed me up. I don't like this. I don't like how Rhysand made me feel. I don't like the cozy warmth in my chest when I think about it. This is really wrong. And until now, sometimes I can still feel something twist my stomach and make my heart beat fast.
Somehow I didn't pass out. The truth is I'm already here. The other Directors had left to get back to work, and now it was just me, my boss, Big Man, and Rhysand del Millero. There were several men in black clothes, which I assumed were his personal bodyguards, sitting far from us and watching the surroundings. This situation, is the thing I hate. And I don't know how many times I rubbed my hands on my knees which were covered by my work pants. I don't know how many times I moved my legs uncomfortably because of this situation. More precisely because of who was right in front of me. I also feel bad because Big Man has been constantly praising Gabriel and his three secretaries-which I, Annie and Sasha-with exaggerated words to the damn man in front of me. I'm also betting the Big Man's over-the-top and unreasonable compliments about the other Directors he's been throwing at Rhysand del Millero too. Since then too, ugh, my head hurts because I just looked sideways at Big Man and
I looked around the large library on the fifteenth floor of the office.Two years I worked here, I never visited the library because of course work is more important. Besides being used as a display, this library is usually used for programmers who want to work in peace. If Big Man's secretary hadn't taken Rhysand and me to the library, I might have been the only employee who had never visited this room. I love reading. Reading novels. The first novel I read was by Louisa May Alcott; Little Woman, and then moved on to other feminist novels such as Handmaid's Tale and Pride and Prejudice—the book I'm holding right now. Well, I shouldn't be going around the library looking for a novel I like because what I'm supposed to be doing is taking care of a crazy bastard named Rhysand del Millero, who's on the phone. But I don't want to do that. I'd rather buy time with the books in front of me until the helicopter he's waiting for comes over to the bullshit he started. Damn, I hate this situ
I flinch at his gentle contact, and I swear I can feel his lips curling against mine as he smiles. I wish I could see it because it looked like a smirk, which lifted the sides of his lips and made the two dimples I hate appear, but then he moved his mouth along mine, slowly as if he was mapping the curve of my lips with his. I froze, my heart feeling like a butterfly trapped as he traced my lips. Small vibrations hit every part of my body. I trembled as my hands curled up against his shirt. What he did evoke memories of two years ago that were submerged in my mind and mu heart. Memories of two years that make the cells in my body live and miss his touch. His touch was barely a kiss, but by the gods, it shook me. Then he tilted his head, increasing the pressure, deepening the kiss. Suddenly, everything changed. This kiss—its rudeness—made me gasp for breath. And then, he claimed my lips as if to stake a claim on my soul. He pulls my lower lip with his, urging my lips to part. Pant