05: there are somethings, one can't recover from.
×
You can be a lot of things. And still be nothing at all-
Zach was, alot of things,
-none of which was just normal.
They both weren't.
×
disclaimer: intense/sensitive events.
OURAY, COLORADO.
From a young age, Zachary was troubled, according to his several primary teachers-
-because they saw in him, the traits they didn't see in another. Regina knew. Denver, his father knew also.
He had once had a gun, under his father's name and threatened to use it on himself when he was younger.
He struggled with a lot of things. Depression. Anxiety.
And they knew. And he was to live by that.
When they looked at him now, they only saw the trouble, the worst things he was capable of.
'and he had to live with that'
"Zach, what the hell?" He immediately recognized Ty's voice as he contemplated to turn around.
He knew that this was going to change everything but he wasn't sure how. So the gun just froze in his hands as he turned away from a wailing Tyler.
"Zach. Put the fucking gun down-"
"Get away from the fucking gun. Put it down!" He was quick to loose his cool.
"Denver! Dad!" He called as the tears fell down my face, mentally battling these rising voices. "What?"
"Oh my God. Is that- Zach. What are you doing?" He heard Denver's voice and he sniffled, immediately turning around with the gun.
"Zach, put it down-"
"Zach? You know my name? You fucking know my name? And it's not Zach, stuff your face with pizza while we get the hell outta here" He turned to Denver as his quivering fingers squeezed softly against the trigger.
"Or Zach, you need help. Telling my mother that i need help and therapy and all that shit" Zach broke into tears, wriggling the gun in a loose grip. "Zach!"
Tyler yelled, stepping closer to him.
"When were you going to tell me you were off to college? That you'll leave? When? Huh?" He sniffled, wiping his tears.
"Leave? I'm not leaving you. I'm off to college. I'm not abandoning you. I'm not dying Zach. What the hell?"
"Just don't step forward. Don't fucking step forward" Zach yelled before looking to the people that had stopped to watch, by the streets and from their house, pulling out their phones.
Parents that held their children to them, whilst running from a potential threat--
"Zach. We would talk about this. Regina, your mother and I could talk"
"But you can't do this. I know it feels hard. You feel uhm-" Denver was short of words, the truth was he couldn't understand what Zach was going through. "You feel uhm-"
Tyler did. And like i said, he knew exactly what to say.
"Zach. Your book-" Tyler's eyes suddenly widened by an idea.
"Harry Jayson Moore. Moore, your book" He started as Zach turned to him. "You were right, i never understood it but then you left and i checked him out, on Google. At least I understand that-" He paused.
"You did?" Zach asked.
"Jayson Moore. The Rockstar stroke amazing gamer. Well the one that died a year ago, just to sure we're talking about the same person-" Tyler added and you could tell the unease drifted slowly from Zachary's void eyes.
"He jumped off that building and he died because he thought he didn't have anyone. You wrote it in that book. You wrote about him"
"And then he died and millions of these people that he didn't know loved what he did, mourned him. Do you know how much he'll regret to not living to see. To experience. To have this people?" Tyler continued.
"My point, Zachary, is- you can be the weirdest person to entire school but you're my brother. I don't see what they see-"
"Mother will always say, people see what they want to see. And I choose not to see what they see. So I promise that now more than ever, I'm not going to leave you. Never-"
And when Tyler was done, Zach didn't realize the gradual steps he was taking till he was close enough-
-close enough to gently slip the gun out of his hands. They both took long lasting exhales as Zach fell into his brother's arms before withdrawing with teary eyes. "Go inside" He whispered as his eyes met his father's.
But as soon as Zach reached a distance, there were the approaching sirens that blew towards them.
Denver became alarmed as soon as the policemen stepped out of their vehicles and he made an attempt to reach his son. Tyler.
They both did.
Tyler held the gun up in shock, contemplating whether or not to run.
"Tyler. Stay. Let them see the gun in your hands" Denver yelled as he fell to the ground.
"Everybody get on the floor! Get on the floor!" He halted at the sound of the radio and the sight of the guns.
"Lower your weapons and put your hands where i can see them" The speaker went off as Zach froze with his trembling hands, staring back at Tyler before he fell to the ground.
"Get down!" Tyler exclaimed as his heart thumped faster before he stepped forward in a moment of panic-
"Put down your weap-"
And the next thing Zach heard were three gunshots, these gunshots that pierced through his brother, pushing his lifeless body to the ground in a heavy thud.
As soon as Zach turned around, his whole world seized, time had seized and it was almost as if the ground was to open up and envelope him-
-at least that was what he prayed for.
"Tyler!" He yelled, pushing himself from behind the car as his eyes narrowed at the officer that stopped him and back at Denver who had fallen to the ground.
"Tyler-"
"Tyler"
"Tyler. Wake up" Zach clasped his arm, shaking him vigorously to wake him up whilst his blood smeared unto his hands and clothes and he looked to his father. And then back at his closed eyes-
The wild sirens blew alarmingly before they were shut off, to the crowds that had their phones on to video the gruesome killing.
The paramedics drew closer quickly to his body as Zachary fell back, with the thought that he might never forgive himself.
"Its all your fault" Denver spat as Zach looked to his bloody hands in terror and then at his father, who angrily got to face the officer-- "You killed him!"
"You killed him!" He yelled as Zach recognized a voice that called unto him.
"Zakky" Regina had stepped out of her car, still in her blue scrubs and jacket as she stared in terror at the wilding scene.
"He had a gun. I swear it looked like he was goi-" The trembling officer that had pulled the trigger struggled to speak-
"He was what? Going to shoot? Did he ever occur to you to cross out these lesser things than to immediately p-" Denver's voice rose and fell as he cried.
"-pull the trigger" The same voice cracked as his fingers tightened in a fist.
"What it looked like was a black man holding a gun and he's dangerous. He's a monster" Denver burst.
"Its not about th-"
The other officers had held the shaking officer into the police vehicle, seizing his gun and turning to Denver, who looked at me with the most disappointment in his eyes.
And anger. And hate.
And me, at Tyler's lifeless body as they called it. His time of death.
"there are somethings you can never recover from-"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry" Zach was already on his knees as Denver walked past, before turning around.
"You killed him and you're going to have to live with that-" He bitterly said as my mother's heels drew closer as she halted.
"Zach. What is going o-" She paused as she witnessed Denver walk into the back of the ambulance and the bloody scene as they tried to cover Ty.
And she was quick to fall to the ground, almost as if she immediately understood what had happened and she held Zach into her arms, close to her. Or he fell into her before he blacked out due to the pressure against his chest-
-and it was in that moment, they both realized that whatever happened next, all they had was each other.
×
NOW
"She said it's okay. That it was going to be fine" Zach said aloud, forgetting that when he spoke, she could not here.
The voice. Her.
So revealing to her these events, he had to open the portal to the darkest part of his mind that held his terrifying secrets.
Something he never thought he would do.
'you've been through a lot' her voice came in a whisper to him.
'why, now, do you want to eat?' she made it clear, she didn't still understand this unhealthy crave.
'because it's easier. It's easier to forget. To drown all those feelings' 'for some people, it's drugs, heroine-'
'or sexual addiction, or therapy. Or -we all have what will keep us going and...'
'and?' she echoed. 'for me, it's food'
'and now, you have to hold up the deal-' he reminded her, anxiously, as he pulled open the fridge door, the fridge that still had the sticker attached to it.
The Eiffel tower.
And it was then some memories came back to him, he had opened the portal that night, after all-
"there are somethings you can never recover from-"
"i think we should leave"
"to where?" she asked as Zachary's eyes narrowed at his mother.
But he was quick to shake off the thought as he closed his eyes to her.
'who, really are you?' he went into his mind, yet again and after a long pause, she replied-
'Irene-'
'Irene Fields'
To be continued...
06: it wasn't her, that made him alot better.×To what extent that one's fragile mental health be pushed--to what point do you realize the crazy other people see, to realize that you need help?Is it the point you start hearing the voices in your head, or the point, you start falling in love with it?×'why are you in my head?''you're in my head. You're all i hear' Irene replied.Zachary climbed into his bed, pulling his covers to him with an exhausted sigh. His gaze fixed at the ceiling as he conversed with this voice in his head.'why did you say it was complicated? That you couldn't tell me who you really were?' Zach asked and she took a long pause. 'where are you from'You could tell Zach was alot relaxed as his hands rested on his belly, awaiting her reply. 'You sure ask a
07: a call to a beckoning connection.×they say for each one, to each one, there's another.To each soul, there's another. Longing. Desperate to find each other.But could this go as far as the voices in your head--perhaps it was a call to a beckoning connection.A firm, scary call for each other.×His hands gripped the handle to his blue locker that had only recently been spray painted with his trade mark nickname--fatty zakky."Hey" Amy popped from beneath surprisingly with a smile, almost startling him to drop his books.He remembered that in these times, times like when he saw the hilarious bathroom graffiti of a nude him, that if there was anything he was learning from Amy--it was not to give half a fuck.She would show
08: it's you, i was beginning to fall in love with you.×was it all just a faulty cross wiring within these two human prototypes that They had chosen?were they just destined to open a new portal to the next generation technology?Or were they meant to fall in love with each other all along?×"can we discuss the possibility that the voices in your head are yours"~Zach and Amy remained seated on the front porch of someone they both didn't know, till she drew closer, resting her head open his broadened shoulders.Across the street was someone that played ukulele, he sang as his fingertips striked the instrument that balanced in his arms.Amy closed her eyes as she smiled, a gentle applause that came for her hands. "what is the most terrible thing that you've done?" She whispered to Zach.&nb
09: the scars you have to live with.×disclaimer: incidents of sexual assault.how far could a human go to feel something often as rare as, love?And what are you willing to compromise? To forget...×Katharina Stones.Irene.We all have our stories, a part of us that we are willing to hide, that part we are ashamed of--that we've blocked off, because they remind us of the scars.Katharina was not just a girl, because they were some things that made her different.Her story made her a lot different-TEN YEARS AGOZURICH, NZ."She wants to see you now" The doctor had whispered into a young Kate's ears as she held unto her father's jacket--her father that had bad enough, shown up to the hospital
10: let's meet in the middle.×She was alot of things. Trapped. Abused. Assaulted.She was dead inside.Until she met him. She heard his voice in her head.×Zachary awoke with a terrible ache in his head, like forks bashing into his temples and painful joints--he hadn't had enough sleep. He knew it. Most of the times, he'd stare at his ceiling, remembering the days he usually heard her voice.They'd stay up late and he'd probably read her certain lines from the stories he had written. They spoke--they spoke to each other, all in their heads.RENNÉ HIGH, PARIS.The sound of the school bell rang in his head as he closed his locker and grudgingly made his way to his class. He didn't even bother to look around for Amy.His eyes were reddened with fatigue as he lingered into th
11: are you really going to sacrifice everything for me?×was love meant to be this hard to find?hard enough, that one could even contemplate leaving all behind and following a voice in his head?that it all seemed so good at first, before you realize it was a lie... Or at worst--all in your head.×THREE YEARS AGO"Could we discuss the possibility that the voices in your head are yours?" Zachary read the question off Greg's lips--Greg, who was a close friend of Denver's that Reggie reached out to as a therapist figure to Zach.For most of his life, Zachary has struggled to redefine himself to be people around him, asides from the fat boy everyone knew and he had heard alot of ways to sugarcoat the word, crazy.And as he stared at Greg, he scoffed-- "You think I'm crazy?" Was a
12: damaged people attract damaged people.×Love-Love is crazy. Because there's hardly any difference.×Juliet Robert's crazy was coincidentally playing as he looked out of the bus with a fatigued smile. Both their excitement grew as he finally crossed into Zurich-'Katharina''i'm here. I'm finally here-' Zach squealed as he looked out to the various tall buildings and the prime tower which he had read about on the nearly six hour ride. He had only just recently got off the train and into the bus directly to the street she had given him. Katharina.'you're finally here' She echoed, heaving a deep sigh as the euphoria lighted Zachary's green eyes. 'so am i going to meet your friends, your dad or mum?' he asked her before the minute long pause.Then she replied almost inaudibly- 'yes, yes you will-'&n
13: was she even real?×In a world where one can hardly tell what is real or not, what is the truth or the fallacy--where, shall we classify love? Perhaps it remains a myth.×"Kathari-" Zach still called from the ground. Michael had immediately grabbed him by his neck as he struggled in a tight clasp,-before Zach was able to push him away.Michael jolted up unto him as his arms stretched to reach the nearby lamp, he wasn't hesitant to throw the punches at Zach, who struggled to get up with his feet,-until he was able to wrap his weighty hands around Michael's throat ultimately pushing him back to the ground and this time, he was able to get his hand on the glassed lamp.Zach released a deep breath before he bashed it into his head, continually till hi