~Rubel~
Doesn't it feel horrible when you want to scream your lungs out from the top of a building to release your pain? But you have to sit in the bathroom stuffing your mouth with a piece of cloth to control your sobs so that nobody can hear your painful whimpers.
That was not the first time my heart broke like this. It happened in the final year of my college when I caught my boyfriend going after my roommate. And before that, it happened in my senior year of school. And now this, all the memories were waiting to flood back in my mind.
After crying for like twenty minutes, I came out of the stall and looked at myself in the mirror. I was looking like a mess. All that fucking mascara and eyeliner mixed up made my eyes look like a member of Adam’s Family.
I took off my glasses and put them aside.
Am I seriously that ugly? No, I think I am an average-looking girl.
Am I used to smothering them with my care? Because I remember Marcus once told me, I fuss over him like a mother. Is that good or bad? But caring is a part of love. Isn't it?
All these thoughts somehow shook my confidence, but I planned to stand firm.
People say don't let others disturb your inner peace. But how the hell am I supposed to stop this when none of them stop hurting me like this?
My fucking inner piece went down the toilet drain.
They used me. Did they...?
Or did I allow them to use me?
One more time, the thoughts in my mind started batting inside me. I splash the water on my face, trying to see my pure self without this makeup.
I have an oval-shaped face, with green eyes. I knew girls crave eyes like mine, but it seems like I just have eyes without any magic in them.
Suddenly the door opened wide as Anna entered and looked at me.
"Are you all right?"
She had seen me in this state so many times, and I know her sympathetic words were emptied already.
I gave her a thin smile, wiping my face roughly with the napkin. "Let's get a drink."
She held my hand, trying to read my eyes behind my glasses.
"I am fine, babe. It's not the first time."
"But, I want you to ask that swine why he showed you the stars, then gifted the moon to his bitch."
I chuckled, looking at her blown nostrils, which never complimented her face.
"His bitch must be better than me. That's why she deserves the moon. And don't flare your nose with anger. It looks like a clown nose." I hugged her with a forced snicker.
"I want to kick his ass."
"Me too."
"Forget him. Let's try some hardcore drinks, celebrating one more failed relationship."
We left that particular hall from where the celebration of Marcus and his new bride echoed, and came to the open pool area where the music was loud, and I needed it. I needed to shut my inner voice with the outer-booming sound.
We ordered our respective drinks, one after another. I guzzled a whole bottle without side snacks. Not too surprised, Anna didn't stop me. She knew I had become like overblown balloons who were ready to burst into an emotional fit of explosions.
"Let's go home," she muttered, pretty my dizzy head.
"Why? I want to dance. Come, let's go on the dance floor."
I pulled her on the floor and started to dance like a madwoman, releasing my hair and throwing my sandals away.
Shaking my ass, I laughed. "You were right. I should wear a short dress. I am feeling hot."
Anna knew it was high time for me to be in bed when she saw me stagger.
"Why am I feeling everything is shaking? Ann... I think I am about to vomit," I declared.
She dragged me from the floor towards the nearest restroom.
"No, no, Rubel, this is not a good time."
We banged on the door.
"Open the door!"
"It's busy," rumbled the voice from the other side.
"Open this fucking door, you bitch," I screamed, controlling my cramps.
Anna looked for another door, asking the server while I was continuously banning the door. I just don't know why I like to annoy people when I am pissed off about something.
Suddenly the door opened and the girl gave me her angry look,
"What? Don't you have anywhere else to go?"
Before I could speak, I saw the same guy coming from her end to whom I bumped a few moments back. He scanned me again.
What the heck were they doing together in this small room? Making out?
"Move..." I screamed.
I emptied my stomach, closing the door behind my back. It was heavy, like seriously, shook my core.
I could hear the girl blasted on Anna. "I don't understand why you girls drink so much when you don't know how to handle it?"
"I am sorry. She is not herself right now," Anna tried to explain.
I washed my face and came out with a dizzy head. That bitch was still screaming at my friend.
"I am sorry," poor Anna, saying sorry on my behalf.
"Here she comes, drunken waste."
Did she call me a drunken waste?
I dashed towards her.
"What the hell did you just say?"
"Yes, you heard it right. Why do you drink when you don't know how to handle it?"
I shot an angry peer towards that stranger who was standing, quietly looking at us. I smiled devilishly. "Why don't you tell your boyfriend to get a room? Is the bathroom the place for making out?"
Well, my voice was bold, loud, and clear. Everyone stopped in the hallway, looking at our catfight.
"Oh, my God." She tries to be a delicate doll, asking for support from her boyfriend. "Babe, just look at these losers."
I was already pissed off at that blonde girl with Marcus, and this bitch has the same vibes.
Oh, God. Today I hate all blondes.
I wanted to kill her. not just once, but many times. I jumped on her with all my anger.
Ann grabbed my hand, and she was screaming for help.
"I will tell you what a loser can do!"
Pissed off, annoyed, and angry. I wanted to rip this woman's world apart.
Ann pulled me back and the man took the delicate doll to another side.
"What happened to you?" Ann scolded me.
"Nothing. I am sorry. I just hate her hair," I replied.
"Did you? Because I think you want to scratch her face and rip her clothes." She laughed out loud.
I was shocked looking at her.
"I have never seen Rubel Johnson getting wild like this. Babe, you made me happy."
She was laughing madly, even though I was embarrassed by my actions. I am a peace-loving person, who never fought or took a stand for herself. Today I think I broke that part of me.
Now the second wave of my emotions came crashing down. Anna sat me down and forced me to eat something to settle my cramps. I soon started drinking again.
It was the middle of the night, the time when you felt alone when Anna spoke up. "Do you want to go home?”
I shook my head, stirring my martini.
"How long are you going to sit here?"
"Until my last breath," I replied with teary eyes.
"Babe, this is the scariest part of you."
Anna knew the child inside me was ready to burst into tears.
"I want to wait for him to come and tell me: Rubel, it was all a lie. I love you and only you," I stated.
"Babe."
I put up my hand to stop her. "I know I am not worth it. I am nothing compared to her."
"It's not like that. He was a swine who didn't understand your value." Ann, declaring her words, but I was talking to myself.
"I should turn gay. At least, you will love me, won’t you?"
Ann backed herself quietly, listening to my crying sermons.
"I am tired of everything in my life. I have a good job, but every weekend I used to come to you. I am..."
I rolled my eyes and shut my mouth.
"Either it's me with N*****x, or me with you. I have stopped watching sexy movies. ask me why?"
She pressed her lips, shook her head. "Tell me, why?"
"Because..."
Before I could answer, the same blonde headed out of the hotel, yelling at the poor stranger.
"Lucky girl. She had the choice to leave him."
I rested my head on my palm as the world was still spinning in front of me.
"I am coming back in two minutes." Ann excused herself for the restroom.
She left and there I saw Marcus kissing his would-be bride, waving his hand to all his friends.
Did I feel the pain?
No, the sea of pain bubbled inside me. But I felt numb.
I was too tired with everything, and there I saw a solution to end everything.
Without giving a second thought, I jumped into the pool.
***
~Anna~I came out of the restroom looking for Rubel. I looked around but didn't find her."Where are you, Rubel?"Suddenly my eyes landed on the poolside. No one was there, but somebody was drowning in it."Oh, Shit!"I tried to take off my sandals to save my friend, but before I jumped somebody else jumped into the water. The man took unconscious Rubel out of the deep pool as the manager and other staff reached the place."Move, move," I yelled as I pushed them. "Rubel, Ru..." I slapped her frozen face.The guy made her lie down on the ground, giving her CPR and I was beside myself with fear.."Ru.. wake up, Shit..." I couldn't stop my sobs. I can’t lose her."How could you leave her like this when you know she is drunk?" The guy pressing her chest questioned me."She is drunk, but I didn't know she would jump in the water. Come on... Ru."After a few cycles of CPR, Rubel started to cough the chlorine water from her lungs."Rubel, are you okay?"Rubel was not in her senses, but she w
~Rubel~Tuesday morning, the second morning of the week that I never liked. I mean, who made them these days?Something inside me told me I had to wake up and run towards my office. But why?Suddenly, I threw the blanket to the side and jumped out of bed."Shit."How did I forget I have only two days left to find that fucking savior photographer who could save my burning ass, aka my job.I was hopping around, trying to take out the bed sheet from my foot.THUDWhy? Why does everything happen to me?My ass thudded against the floor."What a great way to start the morning?" I cussed.Well, I finished my morning business and reached the office. Not to mention, I didn't have my breakfast because, at the present, it was more important for me to find my savior.The elevator door opened and there Max jumped on me, pulling me aside."Babe, I have good news for you.""What? Did Mr. Smith die last night?"Shit. I regretted my words. You know that's why people say think before you speak. Max's e
~Rubel~"Mr. Delucia, please wait!"He didn't listen.I am dead, dead. Pressing the elevator button impatiently, finally, I took the stairs to stop him.I could see him reaching the exit. With heels, I ran making, a clunking sound after him."Please, stop!""What?" he almost shouted, turning back to me."I am sorry," I said.Well, I am not.”"I am sorry for yesterday, and..." I panted, trying to catch my breath.I am not sorry. I should've thrown you in that pond. Wait, I did."Ms. Rubel, I am not interested.""Please, Mr. Delucia. Don't leave this project because you don't like me. If you join this, it will save my job, too."What all the men wanted was one thing in their life to feel important.He crossed his hand over his chest, looking away towards the busy street. He needs more importance. hungry pervert."I will pay for your camera. I will make it up to you."He looked towards me and I took good care of my emotions. I practiced several times looking in the mirror. Puppy eyes wou
It's been two days. My life seemed to turn upside down since the day Delucia entered my life. No wonder I had food dreams that night because for the entire day, I was working like a dog. I didn't get time to sleep, neither did I eat. Now I understand, I’m really a victim of somebody's curse."I am telling you, somebody cursed me."Entering the office while talking to Anna on the cellphone, she dismisses me with a giggle. "Shut up, Rubel. It's just you are working too much. Or should I say he is making you work, which you never wanted?""He never misses a chance to insult me."Well, there was no point crying over the same thing again and again but for the last two days, I’ve been cursing my life. Is it a crime to expect a normal loving life? A loving husband and a big family? Did I ask more from this life? Or It's not in my destiny to be happy?"Babe, are you there?" Anna dragged me out of my thoughts."Yeah, I am here.""Rubel, cheer up. This is just a bad stroke of luck. It will pass
"What if she doesn't agree?" I asked, then stopped to look at him."Yeah, yeah. I will tell her what she wants to hear."I understood that part. I could hear his suppressed giggles. He must have thought how stupid I was to justify my point without any base.A few minutes later Aurora was ready as the makeup artist caked her face with makeup and shiny solution to enhance her bikini line.Great, I accepted that she has a beautiful body, but this? Walking in front of the screen, I could see the drooling mouth of Delucia.He walked over and fixed Aurora's hair."Perfect," pecked a kiss on her cheek, which she gladly accepted.The shoot started and Max and I stood like two monkeys, observing their flirting."You need a man like him.""No, Max. He is not the man I would prefer. I need an honest man, not a man whore." With fingers inverted commas, I highlighted my reason."At least use him for some time to enhance your underdeveloped beauty," Max chuckled."Miss Rubel, please hold the fan ne
~Rubel~It's a funny Friday. My favorite day of the week. Not to mention after my strange encounter with Delucia, this week was a pathetic run of events for me. Marcus plus Delucia is the worst combination.It's midday, and I am sitting in the salon with Anna as we are enjoying the Thai massage we needed to relax."Ohhh, I needed this," I moaned."So what's the plan after this? Going home and crying for your one true love?" Anna teased."Shut up. My crying time is over. Why would I cry? I am going to spend my time with Liam and Max.”She chuckled, suggesting, "Seriously? I would be happy if you want to join me.""Nah, you go on your date. It's been a long time you didn't have sex because of me. Go enjoy this one. Tell him to work out your juices properly," I replied without thinking about the lady who was massaging my back. I looked back with a shameless face."I think you need it more than me," Anna replied."Oh! I want to, but at present, I don't have many options." I rolled my eyes
I gave a final look in the mirror and threw a final kiss to my reflection."Not today, babe. Let him rest today, for tomorrow, he will become your servant."A while later I reached Max’s place where Liam opened the door and hugged me."Hey, beautiful.""I missed you.""I missed you too.""Max told me about that idiot."Liam knew about Marcus? Not again, I came here to forget about him."I don't know what’s wrong with me. Maybe this universe doesn't want me." The pain came out before I realized what I had said."Come on, it's not like that. We want you. That idiot doesn't know he missed out on a beautiful girl."Aww, look at him. He tried to make me happy. I smiled as we entered the pool area. Startled, it was not what I expected. There were more people than I anticipated."I thought it's just a few friends.""I thought of inviting my friends, plus yours too.""Mine? I have only Max," I grumbled, rolling my eyes.He took me to a group where he introduced me to his colleagues."This is
~Rubel~The weekend flew by in a blink of an eye. I just don't understand why the weekends never felt lengthy.Well, I did some cleaning, laundry, shopping, and lots of gossip with my friend Anna. We talked about the juicy parts of her night, and so on.I opened my email before setting the alarm and Delucia called everyone at seven."Is he mad or what?" I rolled my eyes.Well, I would take my proper nap as neither his emails, nor his rules, matter to me. With a devilish smirk, I hopped into my cozy bed. It's a wonderful feeling, a cold night, and a warm blanket.***BEEP BEEP BEEP"Not again."My face stuffed inside my pillow while my hand tried to find my lost phone."Hello.""Ru, where are you? Didn't you get the email? Darius is waiting. We have to take some shots at sunrise."I wiped my drooling mouth with another hand with heavy eyes. I looked at the digits displayed on my watch. 7:10 AM."Ru...""Ummm... Max...""Rubel, wake up. Do you want to lose your job? What if he tells Mr.