“Leni? It’s Ashley. Can I come in?”
The soft knock on my bedroom door is unwelcome. Ashley isn’t the one I’m angry at, though. I roll over, staring at the door. Should I answer her? I guess I should. She knows I’m in here.
“Come on, nerd. I brought you luu-unnnch… it’s a ham sandwich with diii-jjjoooon… on a crois-aaannnt.” Her voice gets higher pitched with a sing-song tone. “Carly snagged some jalapeno kettle chips, tooooo!”
I can’t help but smile. Ashley loves making people happy. Of course, she would bring my favorite food. The fact that she got our friend Carly involved makes it that much more her style.
“Come in, Ash.” I sit up and rub my eyes. They still feel puffy. My nose is completely stuffed and my throat is raw.
Mom didn’t say a word to me when Dad dragged me into the apartment. She just stood by my bedroom with her arms crossed, glaring at me until I closed the door. She and Dad had a hushed conversation about what happened, and he left again. I didn’t really sleep after I stopped crying. I stayed awake listening for Dad to come home. It was after three-thirty in the morning. He didn’t come in to speak or even check on me. I thought they would scold me at least one more time.
Ashley opens the door and peeks her head in with a huge, toothy grin. Her blue eyes sparkle, even with the curtains closed. Her blonde hair is in a messy bun. She pushes into the room, precariously balancing a tray of food in her hands with her tongue sticking out in concentration. She’s still in baggy sweatpants and a cropped t-shirt. She sets the tray on my desk with a relieved sigh, then comes over to the bed and throws her arms around me.
When she finally lets me go, she looks at me sympathetically. “Um… I-is it true?”
I furrow my brow. “What did you hear? It’s only been twelve hours since Dad brought me home.”
“I saw Reggie Slater in the dining room during breakfast. He said Milo Stone told him that Bronx said that your dad told him you might be pregnant and if you are, they’re sending you away.” Her eyes are wide and worried. “You don’t smell any different, but maybe it’s too soon for your scent to change. So? Are you?”
I run my fingers through my scalp and blow a puff of air out. “I don’t think so. Mom has to take me to the clinic next week for a pregnancy test.”
I’m going to fucking kill Bronx. Why did he tell anyone!? A small part of me hopes I am pregnant so I can leave this damned place. I don’t want him as my Alpha. I hate him so much.
Ashley makes me eat half the sandwich even though I’m not hungry. She’s kind of motherly like that. She eats the other half and tells me about the internship they have offered her with the pack accounting office. She wants to wait a couple of days before she accepts it so she can find out who her mate is first. The food in my stomach and a relaxing conversation that has nothing to do with my impending future actually makes me feel better.
I tell her everything about last night until Dad pulled me out of the truck. The only thing I say about his rant is that he told me some confidential information. I may have to leave because of that information. I hate being cryptic. I have no choice unless I want to live the rest of my life in the dungeon.
Ashley’s body tenses for a moment and she looks down at her hands balled into fists on her lap. She flicks her eyes up and speaks low. “We should say a prayer to the Moon Goddess that you’re not pregnant. And then another one, so that when Marco comes home, Zinnia doesn’t kill him.”
Zinnia is Ashley’s wolf. She woke up last week. Ashley says she can already feel how powerful she is. She can’t wait to shift for the first time under the full moon. It’s the only way Zinnia can come into her full power. Then she can find her mate.
“Knock it off, Ashley.” I roll my eyes. “This is hardly a matter to bother the Moon Goddess with.”
“You’re probably right. We can’t change our fate, but Marco better watch out when he gets home.” Ashley climbs off the bed. “I gotta go home and get ready for tonight. First, show me your outfit one more time.”
“Bitch, come on. You were there when I bought it.” I roll my eyes but slide out of bed anyway and go to my closet.
I pull out the garment bag and show her the light green dress. It’s sleeveless. Mom insisted on sleeveless. She says it makes my shoulders look feminine and my legs look long. I think that’s her way of saying it makes me look less manly. I almost never wear dresses. Most of the time, I wear leggings and baggy shirts. After last night, if it was up to me, I would wear a potato sack to the Mating Gathering and get it out of the way.
“And what panties are you wearing?” She puts her hands on her hips and gives me a stern look, but her lip is curled into a knowing smile.
“You know I hate that word, Ashley. Can’t you just say underwear?” I open my top drawer and pull out the bra and underwear that match the color of the dress perfectly. I fully admit that I dress like a slob most days, but you better believe my underwear and bra always match each other and they always coordinate with my clothing.
“Panties. Panties. Panties.” She mocks me and sticks out her tongue. “Your mate is gonna love helping you get out of them. That’s all that matters.”
“I hope so.” I frown at the lacey strapless bra and the thought of anyone other than Marco helping me undress.
Ashley holds my shoulders and tilts her head. “Chin up, Leni. After tonight, you’re an adult. You have your whole life ahead of you. You’re going to find your mate… hopefully Marco… to help you take your bra and panties off tonight, and you two are going to live happily ever after. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. In a week, no one’s gonna remember all this mess.”
I smile gratefully at her. “I love you, Ashley.”
“I love you too, Leni.” She hugs me again, then bounces out of the room.
“An adult.” I say out loud, looking around the empty room. Adults don’t sit around and sulk about their asshole brothers ruining their lives. They keep their shit together and act responsibly. Right?
Okay. Let me think like an adult. Take a shower. It seems like something an adult would do before a big life event. I think? It won’t hurt, I guess. I find a heavy metal playlist to help drown out the world. It seems like I'm not quite ready to grow up all the way yet, after all.
Have you ever taken a shower so hot that you’re certain it’s going to melt your skin off and boil the meat away from your bones? If you haven’t, I highly recommend it. That’s the good shit, man. When I see the sunlight dimming outside the little frosted glass window, I make myself get out and wrap a towel around myself. I blow dry my hair, but leave it down. Mom will help me put it into a high ponytail. She’s the only one who knows how to get it smoothed down perfectly.
The first few drum beats of my favorite Mastodon song blasts out of the speaker. I close my eyes and let the lyrics melt into my mind. I turn the volume up to max and have a little concert for myself while I brush my teeth.
Somewhere in the depths of my mind, I hear a soft howl. I freeze halfway through putting my moisturizer on and listen carefully. A whine and yipping sound make me stand up and look around.
She’s waking up! I look at myself in the mirror. I look the same. Mom said I might feel my wolf before midnight. She told me I might hear her calling for me or feel warm and itchy. My heart beats harder with excitement. I just took a boiling hot shower for the past hour. Of course my skin is warm and itchy, but I can hear her!
I put my hand on my chest. I need to tell Mom!
“HEY MOOOOOOM-oof!” I throw open the door to the bathroom and run into a brick wall, falling back onto the hard tile floor. A cracking sound from my tailbone makes lightning shoot up my back. “OWWWWW!!!!! MOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!”
“Leni, are you okay?” Bronx squats in front of me. He looks at me with concern, which would be comforting if I wasn’t still pissed at him.
“Bronx?!” My temper overtakes the pain. I kick at him, creating another flash of pain in my back. I wince and growl. “Get out of my room! NOW! MOOOOOMM!!! Tell Bronx to get out of here!”
In the distance, I hear her say something about him driving me to the Mating Gathering, completely ignoring my demand.
“Leni, calm down. I just came to apologize. What time do you want to leave to go to the meadow?” Bronx holds his hand out to help me stand up. “If you hurt your back, we can go down to the hospital wing to have it checked out before the ceremony.”
“Apology not accepted and I’m not going to the hospital wing.” I cross my arms and huff at him. My back hurts like a bitch, but I refuse to let him take me for medical treatment. “You ruined my life, Bronx. After you escort me home later, I never want to see you again.”
“Leni, I-”
“I don’t want to hear it! Get out of my room. Get out of my life. All you do is fuck it up!”
Bronx's face is emotionless for a long moment. He turns on his heel and slams the bedroom door behind him. “Fine. Be downstairs at nine-thirty.”
“THAT BUZZ CUT LOOKS DUMB ON YOU!” I throw one more insult through the door.
“Fuck off, Leni.” I hear the front door of the apartment slam closed, leaving me in the loudest silence ever.
— Flashback— “All of our intel shows they’re gathering traction with the propaganda they are feeding the locals in Eastern European villages. Larger packs are being influenced as well. We have to act now or war is imminent.” Daddy walks back and forth. He sounds angry. “Mama, why’s Daddy mad?” I pull on her shirt, but she doesn’t look at me. “Mike, you sent for the kids?” Mama interrupts him. He stops talking and gives Mama lovey dovey eyes. That’s what my big brother calls it. I bet if those old men weren’t here, Daddy would give Mama a big kiss. Then Bronx and I would say EEEWWWW! Then Daddy’s wolf would chase us away. “Gentlemen, you all know my Luna Regent, Sandy. Most of you have met my son Bronx, but only a few have met my daughter Lenora.” Daddy picks me up and kisses my cheek. I try to show him the picture I drawed of me and Mace, but he doesn’t look. “Say hello to the Elder Council, my sweet girl.” “Daddy! Loooook!” I hold my picture up higher. I don’t want to say hell
“Leni, time to wake up.” Mom rubs circles on my back through the covers. “Happy birthday, honey. I didn’t get to speak to you last night before Saint took you home. How do you feel?” “Sore.” I groan into my pillow. “That can happen after your first shift.” She tugs playfully on my ponytail. I hate when she tries to pretend everything is hunky dory when it’s not. She and Dad always preach telling the truth, but the last couple of days have shown me they hide the truth more than anyone I know. “Your wolf will heal you. I saw how beautiful her white and tan coat was when you shifted. What’s her name?” “Her name is Justice.” I lift my head and squint in the bright room. “What about my back?” “Ahh, what a wonderful name.” Mom quips, then pauses. “What about your back? What happened?” “Bronx pushed me and I hurt my tailbone yesterday. It still hurts.” “Well, I’m sure whatever happened with your brother was an accident.” She dismisses the incident. “It doesn’t matter if it was an ac
Milo’s eyes flash to black and Ghost growls dangerously. “Mate.” I suddenly feel like prey. I take a slow step back from the menacing wolf. Can I get in my room fast enough to close the door? As if he was reading my mind, he grabs my arm and yanks me to his chest. His razor-sharp claws grow out of Milo’s fingernails and dig painfully into my arm. He buries his nose into the crook of my neck, breathing in my scent. My feet are glued to the spot, but I want to run away. At the same time, I feel like I want to stay here with him. I want to be closer to him. What am I talking about? Marco Sanchez is supposed to be my mate. I hate Milo Stone and he's currently assaulting me! “MILO, STOP!” I cry out and push on his chest. “LET ME GO!” “Mmm.” Justice coos. “He’s so romantic.” “Justice, it’s not ROMANTIC! He’s ATTACKING ME! Do something!” I scream at her. “Say ‘mate’. He’ll calm down.” She muses, as if she is completely unaware that blood is pouring out of my arm. “You need to acc
Mom helps me into my room and lays me on my bed. I don’t think I could manage to do anything else, even if they ordered me to.I hear the howls of the pack saluting the warriors as they leave. I try to howl with them, but I can’t stop crying. I clutch my aching heart and whisper a prayer to the Moon Goddess to forgive me and to send my mate back safely.Ashley appears in front of my face. She’s even more of a mess than she was earlier.I lift the covers and she joins me, back in the faux safety of my duvet fortress. Justice and Zinnia sulk along with us. We stop pretending like we’re going to be okay and cry ourselves to sleep. Everyone leaves us alone. Someone knocks on the door around dinnertime. They slide a tray of food into the room, but don’t come inside. Ashley crawls out of bed and takes a few bites, then abandons it. She comes back to bed so we can console each other until we cry ourselves back to sleep.Justice wakes me up when Dad comes in the middle of the night. He kisses
“Lenora, this brownie is delicious. Are you sure you don’t want a bite?” Ashley mumbles with her mouth still full.“Bitch, you’re worried about a brownie right now?” I push open the garage access door. “I’m wondering how we’re going to figure out where Milo’s car is?”I have no clue where to begin because the pack garage is massive. Three levels are the entire footprint of the packhouse.“You mean YOUR car? He gave it to you as a gift.” She slows down and looks up and down the aisles. “What would he have bought you for your birthday if you weren’t mates?”“He wouldn’t have got me anything. I don’t think he even knows when my birthday is.” I shrug. “Before today, I’m sure I was just Bronx’s little sister. I’ve only ever thought of him as Bronx’s obnoxious friend.”“Let’s seeeee…” Ashley turns in a circle while she walks. “His parents are Betas, so it makes sense for it to be on the first floor? The second floor only has pack fleet cars. Then again, he was away for six months and he’s al
“ASHLEY! Hold on!” I grip the wheel tighter and swerve into the wrong lane to avoid the collision. There’s too much traffic. A minivan is going to hit us head on. I jerk back too soon. The front corner of the third police car hits Ashley’s door. Her window shatters into a million pieces. She screams and puts her arms up to protect her head. We bounce off the front of the cruiser and hit the side of the minivan. “Don’t stop, Lenora!” Justice commands. “Keep going!” I press my back into the seat and turn the wheel until I’m able to straighten out the car. When I have control again, I look in the rearview mirror. The two police cars that were chasing us are still close behind me. “Shit shit shit!” I look forward, focusing on not hitting any more cars. “Ashley, are you okay?” “I think so?” She looks up with blood trickling down her face. “Lenora? What happened? Are you okay?” Dad asks. “Dad, another police car just hit us! And I-I hit a car. I don’t know if they’re okay. What shou
Milo’s POV“Hey Sanchez, got a minute?”“Yes, Beta?”“Nah, bro. I don’t want it to be like that for the next nine months. We’re all the same here. No pack ranks or any of that bullshit.”“Alright. Qué pasa, Milo?”“I-I wanted to say I hope there are no hard feelings over Leni.” Why is this difficult? I was sure of what to say five minutes ago. “Obviously, no one planned it to be like this.”“No hard feelin’s.” Marco tries to smile. He can’t hide his disappointment, though. “Just make me a promise?”“Okay?”“Make her feel special, like every day, all the time.” He looks at Bronx, receiving orders, and motions with his chin. “Everyone gets worked up over what he’s got goin’ on. They forget her. She says it’s fine and it don’t bother her. It’s bullshit. She don’t like opening up to people. She’ll tell ya it’s cause she likes privacy. That’s bullshit too. Trusting people ain’t her thing. She thinks people use her to get to Bronx. She’d rather be alone than used.”“Bro, yeah. Of course I c
“No, Milo.” Bronx returns my mindlink. “What the fuck?” “We see how much time you spend together. She’s kinda cute, you're both single, and you two get along well.” “It’s not like that.” “So what’s it like?” “I don’t know.” He sniffs the air. “Saint says I should take care of her. I agree with him. It’s like… I-I don’t know. It just feels right. Like it’s my job or something to protect her.” “Your job?” I furrow my brow. “Bro, your job is to find Sin and fuck him up so we can go home. That’s your job. If you’re saying she’s your job, you have a thing for her. Which means she’s a distraction. Fortier needs to reassign her.” “She stays with us.” He pulls something out of his pocket. “Have you ever heard of tiger nuts?” “What the fuck is a tiger nut?” I look at the few shriveled looking bits in his palm. “Other than her knives and her handgun, this is all she brought. No photos of family or paper to write home. Nothing.” He looks at his hand. “Try one. They’re honey roasted.” I