Cailen sat in the corner of the playroom, not really playing but watching other kids play.
The other kids who were now several years younger than him.
The average age of a child at the orphanage was six to nine years old. Once you hit ten years of age, people tended to stop looking at you. Everyone wanted a younger child, someone they can raise from as close to scratch as they could.
Being adopted after age ten or older was a rarity and he was now thirteen.
He hadn't been to a new home in two years, and before that, it had been a year.
This was just fine to Cailen because he always ended up back here anyway. Might as well save himself the trouble.
Cailen didn't enjoy playing like he used to. He didn't see much of a point to it anymore.
It seemed like a waste of time. He didn't have anyone to play with anyway since none of the younger kids wanted to play with the older reject kid that nobody wanted.
No, he was sitting all by his lonesome, waiting for the time to pass so he could have something for dinner and go to bed.
Cailen's home count had gone up to thirty-three.
Thirty-three different families that had tossed him to the side like the piece of trash he was.
After number seventeen, he stopped caring. He had basically given up and didn't even try to please his at-the-moment family. It didn't matter what he did anyway. Eventually they all said the same thing; he was either too much of a handful or too different and no one wanted that.
He found that his little heart just couldn't take anymore heartache. If he allowed himself to continue caring, he wouldn't have a heart left.
At least not a functioning one.
So he switched it off.
It wasn't as difficult as he thought it would be.
He supposed there wasn't much left to switch off in the first place, so he basically just said fuck it and became this hollow shell of a kid. He barley spoke anymore, he didn't play with anyone even when a kid offered to play with him.
When he ate, he barely ate anything and went to bed right afterward. In school, he didn't pay attention so he was really behind in everything.
He didn't do anything. He was just existing, passing the time until he could get out of this place.
That probably wouldn't be for another five years though, when he turned eighteen.
Cailen was pulled from his head when a stranger walked into the room.
It was a lady with long dark hair. She had a kind face and a kinder smile. Beside her was a little boy, a couple years younger than him, he guessed, with dark curly hair and bright green eyes that shone in wonder as he glanced around the room of toys and children.
Cailen was about to look away because he knew why they were here. They were here to adopt and there was no way they would want him, but he didn't get a chance to look away before the curly haired boy locked eyes with him.
The boy’s face brightened with excitement before he bee lined over to where Cailen sat in his corner.
Cailen wasn't sure what to do. He had never had that reaction before.
"Hi!" the boy said, his voice loud and excited.
"Hi," Cailen replied quietly because this boy seemed to be too excited to risk ruining that by not answering.
"I'm William, what's your name?" he asked politely.
Cailen took a second, glancing behind him to the woman he came in with. His mother most likely, who was watching them closely.
"Cailen," he replied finally.
"What are you doing over here by yourself, Cailen?" the boy asked, his voice curious.
Cailen shrugged, not sure if he wanted to tell this boy the truth or not. He looked so happy and cheery that Cailen just couldn't darken his mood with his pathetic life.
So he lied. He was getting good at that.
"Just tired."
"Then you should take a nap!" William suggested but Cailen shook his head.
"M’ not allowed."
They weren't allowed to take naps right now because this was the time people came to look at the children. Cailen thought he should be able to because no one was going to adopt him anyway. But they wouldn't have any of it.
"Oh, do you like football?" William asked changing the subject.
Cailen shrugged. Of all the sports, football wasn't so horrible. He actually did enjoy playing it when he actually liked playing with the other kids. It was the only sport he actually kind of liked.
"’S’ alright," Cailen replied.
He didn't know why he was even bothering talking to William. Even if William wanted to take him home, it wasn't up to him. It was up to his mother who would probably prefer one of the younger children.
"Do you like baseball?" William asked.
Cailen shook his head.
"Oh, that's okay. It's not that great anyway. Do you like Pokemon?" William was firing off question after question, Cailen giving him honest answers and no matter what Cailen answered, William never minded.
"Hello there," William's mother said from behind William.
Cailen gave her a small smile as William gasped, his face excited as he turned around to his mother.
"Mom, I like him!" William said excitedly.
He liked him? Why?
He was nothing special. There were so many other kids that were so much better than him.
"Can we take him home?"
Cailen's heart swelled at his words, he couldn't help it. There was something about this kid, he liked him too.
"William, love, he's not a puppy. And you haven't talked to any of the other kids," she said, crushing Cailen's glimmer of hope.
Of course, she didn't want him.
"I don't want to. I want a big brother!" William argued. "Pleeeeaaaassseeeeee?" William whined, tugging at her arm.
William's mom chuckled slightly, her eyes glancing over at Cailen. She looked at him differently than William. She had a sad look in her eyes, as if she felt sorry for him.
But Cailen didn't want her sorry, not if she didn't want him.
"Well, I think we need to get to know each other first," she said, sticking her hand out to Cailen. "My name is Eden. What's yours?"
Cailen hesitated for a moment, trying to figure this out.
Did this mean she was actually considering taking him home?
He doubted it. She was probably only humoring her son. He took her hand anyway, not really knowing why.
"Cailen."
"I already know everything about him, mom!" William exclaimed. "He kind of likes football, doesn't like baseball, loves Pokemon, he likes to read…" William went on to repeat everything he just learned about Cailen, his mother listening intently, regarding him with a fond smile.
She took it upon herself to take a seat on the floor with them, William falling into her lap as he continued to list off facts about Cailen.
There was a little pang of jealousy that rang through Cailen. He couldn't help it. It usually happened when another kid with a parent talked to him.
It was just, they didn't know how lucky they were to have someone who actually cared about them, someone who loved them, someone who looked at William the way Eden did, with complete fondness and pride.
Cailen wanted that.
"Well, Cailen sure does sound like an interesting little boy," Eden commented when William finally finished his list.
William nodded eagerly, his curls bouncing around.
"Yeah! Please mom? Can we keep him?" William asked.
"William," Eden scolded. "Cailen is not a puppy. He’s a human being."
William mumbled an apology, looking to Cailen as he did so.
"But, if you ask Cailen, and he would like to come with us, I would love to bring him home with us," she said.
William's face brightened immediately, a small gasp leaving his mouth as he bounced in his mothers lap.
"Cailen! Did you hear that?" William said excitedly. "Do you want to?" he asked. "Do you want to be my big brother?"
Cailen's heart swelled again, this time, to the point where it almost hurt, but in a good way.
Did they really want to take him home? Him? Of all the kids here, they wanted him?
Cailen couldn't help the small smile that spread across his lips, the first true smile he's shown in a long time, he thinks. He nodded slightly, looking from the absolutely gleeful face of William to the fond expression of Eden.
"Yes," Cailen whispered.
William gasped again, turning in his mom's lap. "Mom! Mom! Did you hear that? He said yes!" he said happily.
Eden chuckled and nodded her head. "Yeah, I heard," she smiled at her son then at Cailen. "Okay, you boys stay here. I'm going to go talk to the nice lady and see what we do now," Eden explained, lifting William from her lap.
She stood up, dusting herself off and headed out of the playroom.
"Cailen! We're going to be brothers for life!" William said excitedly.
Cailen smiled at him. He was happy for the both of them but he couldn't help this nagging feeling he had that told him that statement wasn't true.
Sure, William may always like him but soon enough, Eden will come to the conclusion that he was too different or too much to handle and then he would be right back here where he started, again.
Cailen tried to keep the smile on his face, but it was growing more and more difficult with each passing thought, everyone of them reminding him not to care.
If he cared he would only get hurt.
There was a small sliver of hope that he had though. One little ounce that he still thought was too dangerous to hold onto.
Eden had asked him if he wanted to go with them.
She had asked.
Most people said, ‘I want him’, signed the papers and took him with them.
He never had a say in the matter and that gave him that little sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe this family would be different.
"Cailen, they're here," Ms. Willow said from Cailen's doorway.Cailen sat on his bed, his small bag stuffed with his few articles of clothing sitting beside him. He raised his head when Ms. Willow spoke, suddenly feeling nervous. He nodded anyway and stood from his bed, grabbing the strap of his bag.He shuffled past Ms. Willow and down the hall where he saw Eden, William and a girl standing, waiting for him. When William saw Cailen, his face brightened and he took off at a run towards him.It startled Cailen, making him stop in his tracks."Cailen!" William shouted as he barreled into Cailen, throwing his arms around the older boy. "I missed you," William said squeezing Cailen tight.Cailen was unsure of what to do. He hasn't received a hug in... Ever.He's never been given a hug. He quite liked them, he decided.He dropped his bag and awkwardly placed one arm on the younger boy's back. He saw Eden smiling at the two of them standing just a few feet away so he tried his best to retur
He was laughing and running, his heart pumping fast in his chest.He was smiling from ear to ear and was almost disappointed when Eden called to them telling them that their food was ready. But then his stomach grumbled and he was actually happy it was time to eat.Stella and William ran off, grabbing their shoes and slipping them on and running towards their mother.Cailen took his time, letting himself catch his breath because he honestly can't remember the last time he's run around that much. Once he had his shoes back on, he made his way over to the table the three of them were sat at.He wasn't entirely sure if it was okay to sit with them. He knew he had come here with them and everything but it still felt weird just walking up and sitting down."Come on, Cailen," William said and pulled out the chair beside him for Cailen to sit in.Cailen smiled and took his seat across from Stella and waited patiently for Eden to hand out the food."How old are you?" Stella asked, biting into
As promised, Eden woke Cailen up the next morning and told him to get dressed to go shopping.Cailen was tempted to argue that she shouldn't waste the money on him. But figured it was futile, so instead, he crawled out of bed and sleepily shuffled his way into the bathroom, quickly doing his business and washing up, then meeting Eden downstairs by the door.Cailen had enough time last night before bed to look around. William had taken him on a tour of the house, showing him where the kitchen was and all six bathrooms. He showed him the basement which had a recreational room in it that had a pool table and also had another room with a couch and a television along with the laundry and one of the six bathrooms.Cailen had a pretty good memory so he pretty much remembered where everything was.Eden smiled at him as he put on his shoes, waiting patiently.Cailen was a little hungry since he just woke up and hadn't eaten yet but he didn't want to be a bother and ask for some breakfast. He s
Cailen made it to the first day of school, to his utter surprise.This family hadn't returned him yet but he still had his doubts. It was only the fourth day and they hadn't sent him to school yet.School and Cailen didn't mix well. He got bored easily and tended to entertain himself much to the teacher's dismay. Surely Eden would be called down to the school in no time and that would be the end of this.He hoped he could pay attention and not get bored though. He liked this family. They treated him nicely but he figures that's only because they don't know the real Cailen yet.Cailen was nervous when Eden dropped them off at school.He always got nervous when he started a new school because everyone would look at you, everyone wanted to know your story, who you are, where you’re from, why you moved, but Cailen didn't like his story.He hated telling people he was an orphan. They either gave him that sympathetic look that he hated or they avoided him like some kind of disease.Either w
The three boys split apart, looking behind them and shutting up once they saw a new person had entered the washroom.It was Asher, William's friend from lunch.He looked confused for a second, taking in his surroundings. He looked from the three startled boys to the scared looking boy that was fighting with himself on whether to look at the ground or at Asher."Come on," Billy spoke and soon, Cailen heard them shuffle out of the room.It was quiet for a moment. Cailen thought maybe Asher left with the rest of the boys because why would he want to stick around with him?He was nothing special. Just an orphan who nobody wanted.But soon he felt a small hand on his shoulder and then Asher was bending down a little and sticking his face under Cailen's so he could see him.Cailen turned away, ashamed of the tears evident in his eyes."Cailen, are you okay?" Asher asked, his voice soft.Cailen sniffled and brought his hand up to his eyes to wipe at them.Asher backed up a step as he did so,
"Cailen?" came a voice from somewhere in the washroom.He didn't look up, he didn't respond because he didn't want to be found.Not like this. Not crying in a corner surrounded by paper towel that had fallen from the holder he had stumbled into.Not with blood and snot dripping from his nose, not when he looked so gross and pathetic."Oh my gosh, Cailen!" they said more urgently and soon, there was a pair of hands on his shoulders, pulling him up right from where he was leaning against the wall into a sitting position."What happened? Are you okay?" Asher asked as he frantically moved the hair from Cailen's face to see where the blood was coming from.Cailen pulled away from him. He didn't want to be seen like this but he couldn't make the tears stop. He couldn't make them stop because he was a pathetic excuse for a boy.Only girls cry. That's what the boys had told him and Cailen knew they were right but he couldn't stop them."I'm gonna go get Eden," Asher said beginning to stand. T
It was after school one day when William and Cailen were playing in the living room that everything went down the toilet.They were just having fun, William had challenged Cailen to a handstand contest and said Cailen was too afraid to try it. So naturally, Cailen just had to prove him wrong.William had already done his, falling over on his first attempt but succeeding in staying up for about five seconds on his second try. William looked smug when he planted his feet on the ground, insisting that Cailen couldn't possibly do better and waiting impatiently for him to gather the courage to try.The thing was that he didn't want William to think he was boring and no fun.He wanted William to keep liking him and wanting to play with him because he liked playing with William. He knew it was stupid to get so attached when he'd probably be sent back at any moment but Cailen couldn't help himself.He just kind of enjoys being William’s big brother. He didn't know how because really, they did
"Send him back?" Eden asked, looking to her curly haired son. "What on earth..." she trailed off as she took in the pleading eyes of her son, the worried look of her daughter and the completely regretful and scared look on Cailen.She sighed again, wiping at Cailen's face one more time before setting the cloth down."Stella, William, go get Dean. Ask him to clean up the vase, please," Eden instructed.The children looked troubled, as if they weren't sure they should listen to their mother for fear of Cailen being sent back without their consent.It was probably better this way, Cailen thought, less embarrassing and all."But Mom-""Go," she said firmly, shutting William up and watching as Stella led him away to go get Dean.Eden turned back to Cailen. He had more tears running down his cheeks. His tears really had nothing to do with the pain in his wrist but the fear of being sent away.He hadn't realized just how attached he had gotten here. Not just to William but to Stella and Eden